Devon

Chapter Thirty Three

Hi! Naisingit ko magsulat out of nowhere. Pasensya pasensya sobrang tagal. Pero grabe ka hectic talaga ngayon 😭 naiiyak nalang ako sa dami ng ginagawa ko. But enjoy niyo nalang kahit maiksi Hahahaha! 😂

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It can take a long time but when it's lost it always finds its way home.

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Art's POV

"Hey there."

I heard her voice say before I felt her hands on both my shoulders and she kissed me briefly on the cheek. She always does that para alam ko na nandito na siya sa bahay. I was busy typing something so all I replied was

"Hey."

Umalis naman siya agad at tinapos ko na agad ang kelangan tapusin kasi alam ko nagtatampo na sa akin yun dahil di ko man lang siya tinignan kanina. Nakita ko siya sa baba nanunuod ng news kaya naman tumabi ako agad sakanya. Pero wala siyang kibo at nanuod lang.

"What's up?" I asked while playing with her hair.

Its been a while na binisita niya ko. We have been busy this past weeks. All the more na magtampo to dahil sa pang snob ko ng onti kanina. Minsan na nga lang kami magkita sasabihin niya ulet malamang diko man lang maiwan saglit ang trabaho. But business is business. Lalo na ngayon ako na ang nahawak ng hunters.

"Nothing much." She said at tinignan ako briefly then continued staring at the screen. I frowned. Pinapansin nga ako pero alam niyo yung ambigat ng atmosphere. Niyakap ko nalang siya at nagbaby face. Tinaasan naman niya ko ng kilay pero kita ko na nagpipigil siya ng ngiti.

"Clemmm!" I said na parang nagmamaktol na bata. What? Pababy na kung pababy. Ayaw ako pansinin ng normal eh hahaha!

Yes it's Clementine. Nabasa niyo yun hindi kayo namalikmata. I actually gave her a second chance. Us. Because why not? After all I was left dead. Siya, siya ang nagpumilit na pasukin ang buhay ko despite me being a mess. And I'm glad she did. I needed someone to help me be sane atleast.

At first, I went to look for her. Jessica. But kahit mga pamilya niya di alam kung nasan siya. I begged them pero di talaga nila alam. Hindi din natuloy ang wedding and at some point nagalit talaga ako sa pamilya niya. In the first place hindi naman niya ko iiwan kung hindi dahil dun. But she went away. It pains me na hindi siya bumalik sakin. They don't know where she is. So I gave up looking for her, why? Dahil kahit ang Empire di alam kung nasan siya.

How many sleepless nights na umiyak lang ako? Diko alam. I felt helpless. Naging pabaya ako sa buhay ko. I didn't even go to work. I didn't listen to anyone. When the love of my life left me. All I did was waste my everyday life. Drinking, partying.. it even came to the point that I almost died.

I smiled bitterly. Here I am reminiscing my time when I felt hell. But everyday it's constantly on my mind kung bakit ako iniwan. Bakit hindi siya bumalik? Tatanggapin ko parin siya. Bakit di nalang niya ko sinama sa pagalis niya? I don't think I can get rid of it. It still haunts me.

"What's wrong?" Clem asked. Napansin niya siguro na bigla ako tumahimik. Sumiksik ako sakanya covering my face.

I bitterly smiled. Should I tell her? No. It's just a date I dont want to remember. She doesn't even know na ngayong araw na to ako iniwan ng mahal ko. Iniwan. Para maging magisa. Mas pinili niya na iwan kaming lahat. Sobrang affected parin ako lalo na may kirot sa puso tuwing maaalala ko siya which is everyday still. Clem knows that. She still holds my heart. Yet she still stayed with me. Kahit hindi ko maibigay ang pagmamahal na katulad ng pagmamahal niya sakin. Everyday I'm guilty of it.

Ngayon diko na alam kung ano na nangyayare sakanya. Deep inside me natatakot ako na baka may nangyare sakanya na masama and no one knows. No I don't hate her. But I can't help but pity myself. Feel grief for our love. Because I knew she loves me yet I wasn't the one she chose to be with her and left me clueless.

Ginagamit ko lang ba si Clementine? No. Maybe? Do I love her? Yes I love this woman. Maybe not like how I love Jessica but yes I'm still guilty. I can't love her fully. Alam namin parehas na pag bumalik si Jessica. I'll always choose her.

I looked at Clementine. She was looking at the news and she was still petting my head. Hindi siya nagtatanong kung ano nasa isip ko. Maybe she already knows and choose not to say anything about it.

I made myself comfortable and lay my head on her lap. I was looking at the news in silence when I saw a familiar face on the television. Napabangon ako bigla. My heart dropped. It can't be.