How Did It Begin? | cf au | (*Slowly Editing*)

Chapter 22

Song List:

Just for A Moment - Jason Chen

Out Of Mind - Tove Lo

All Of The Stars - Ed Sheeran

Autumn's POV

I watch as Connor's body tensed up, his beautiful green eyes hardening and his breath cutting short. His mouth dropped slightly. "Y-...you...are you...you.."

Okay maybe saying it like that was a bad idea.

I waved my hands in front of his face. "Not like that!!! I'm not seeing him THAT way!!" I panicked. I wanted to mentally slap myself for phrasing it that way. He just continued to stare at me, dumbfounded and his face paling each second.

Before ape-shit happens, let me explain.

I've been hanging out with Sam for a while for the past three weeks. I didn't want to go to the O2L house because of what had happened there. Bad memories would just be stirred up if I even walked one foot into the house. Without Emmi knowing, Sam would come over and we would talk or hangout in the living room. We would occasionally go out to get fro-yo if we felt hungry. I usually never keep secrets from Emmi, but I just didn't want to tell her that I've been hanging out with him....rather than Connor. If she had found out, she would accuse me for toying with Connor's emotions, which wasn't what I was doing at all.

I know that sounds really bad, but Sam became my rock for a while. Plus, I actually got to know him. Our friendship just clicked you know? He always knew what to say to get me to feel better if I thought one negative thing and his laugh is flat out contagious. On the days where I would just stare at my phone, I would Connor wouldn't text and I would frown or sigh sadly. Sam, knowing the sounds and looks of me missing Connor, would automatically make me feel better by taking me out to eat to Taco Bell OR comfort me by giving me a hug and making me laugh right after.

Ricky had found out one day that I was hanging out with Sam. He saw us walking out of a fast food place and he was giving me the "look" that I've grown to know. The "look" meaning "what's going on and tell me now" when he sees me in a particular mood. This time it wasn't given to me because of how I was looking, it was given to me because of what I was doing.

*flashback*

I walked out with Sam, laughing and snorting super loudly. I was blushing right afterwards. My snorts only come out when I laughed really really hard. This made Sam laugh his toxic laugh even more. Right when I thought that I couldn't possibly breathe anymore, I heard a familiar brotherly-like voice in front of us.

"Autumn", Ricky said, his eyes darting between Sam and I. I knew Ricky too well, and I know that he wanted to know what was up. I looked at Sam guiltily, and he knew that I wanted to be alone with Ricky.

"I'll just see you next time okay? Let me know when you wanna hang out again", he said, smiling small. I nodded as he gave me a hug. I lightly hugged him back, being super cautious that Ricky's eyes were still burning holes in my scalp.

Sam walked the other direction, leaving Ricky and I on the sidewalk. I was ready for the questions.

"So you and Sam?" he questioned me. His eyes stayed level with me. I sighed. "It's not like that...we're not anything", I said, trying not to sound hysterical. Ricky and Sam were both best friends with Connor and I didn't want to ruin either of their relationships. That would just make me feel horrible on the inside.

"Really? It didn't look like it to me when you looked happy with him", he said sternly. I slumped and rubbed my hands over my face. I was so glad that I didn't wear makeup that day.