New Beginnings

Chapter 21

Rendal POV

It was a while after breakfast and I hadn't Alexa all morning, it seemed odd, it wasn't like her not to come and at least do some kind of training.  So I went to find her, unsurprisingly she was in her room, what was surprisingly was that she was staring at something in one of her draws.

"Lex?"  I asked coming in.

"Hi Ren, why are you here?"  She asked not turning to face me.

"I wanted to see you...  So why are you hiding in here?"  I walked over to her and gently placed my hands on her shoulders.

"I'm not hiding."  She replied.

"You sure becau-"  I peeked over her shoulder and saw what she was staring at; a thick silver metal circle with...  A smaller circle connected to the front of it.  I gasped as I saw the dried red substance along the top edge of the large ring.  'How long have you had this?'

"Ever since the last time we went to Tatooine and I went back to see....  Him."

"Alexa are you crazy?!  You shouldn't have gone there!  Why did you want this?"

"I need it.... As a reminder."

"I thought a reminder would be the last thing you needed.  Come on Alexa, I thought you'd moved on."

"I have."

"Then why are you staring at....  That."

"Because I need to remember what I've got past, how much better I've become."

"Alright, but why the sudden want to think about all of this?"  I asked concerned.

"I don't think I'm ready for a padawan."  She replied finally turning around to look at me.

"Why not?"

"I can't hear someone call me that name."  Her voice quaked and I saw that distant look in her eyes.

"Name?  What name?"

"The "m" name."

That was when it hit me like a ton of bricks.

"You don't want a padawan because then someone would call you master."

Her face crumpled and her eyes scrunched tightly, I stepped forward and embraced her in an attempt to comfort her.  She then clasped onto me for support, her fingernails bit harshly into my back and her whole body shook. The sobs were stifled at first as she attempted to hide her grief, then came a thicker flow of tears than I seen her cry in a long while.  I couldn't ignore her hiccups as she tried to stop herself and not show her weakness, but she couldn't.

I put my hand on the back on her head as she buried her face in my chest and stroked her lekku, all the while looking at the object in the draw.  It glinted menacingly in the light that was streaming in through the window.  The pain in the back of the mind the comes forward by the slightest reminder. This was a token of her sorrow and misery.  Oh how I wish I could destroy it right here and now, but if she thought she needed it then so be it.  Just so long as she could heal.

"Hush Alexa....  It's going to be ok....  We'll get through this I promi-"

"Alexa?"  Maya suddenly ran in!

"Maya what in the world?!"  I asked staring at her shocked.

"Sorry I just came to-  Alexa?  W-What's wrong?"  She looked at her older friend perplexed.