The Nerd | Completed

Chapter Eight

I basically used my pillow as a punching bag. I was angry for letting Zayn get too close, he almost found out. I couldn't believe Britney called me out for throwing away food, well actually that's a lie, she's pretty much capable of anything and everything.

*Earlier Today*

I had walked away earlier as fast as I could after seeing Zayn looking at me with his eyes. I knew he was getting too close, but I didn't listen to my conscience.

I was able to keep the hot burning tears from falling until I made it to the bathroom. I felt the lump in my throat slowly fade away as I sat on the ground next to wall, since I had taken the big stall.

I hid my face in the sleeves of my hoodie and silently cried until my eyes were dry. I pulled out my phone and saw I had many text messages and calls from an unknown number. I deleted all the missed calls but went in to the messages and looked through them.

Sam, It's Zayn, plz answer me

I'm sry for what she said...

I don't believe any of it

Plz just answer my texts

I need to know that u r ok

I read the last one and my heart broke, maybe he actually cared...

No you bloody idiot! That is how he wants you to feel, all you need is me, remember?

"How could I forget? You constantly remind me daily." I reply softly to the voice in my head. For once I actually listened to her, maybe he was just pretending...

*Present Time*

I scrolled through many of his text messages from earlier, I still had never replied to them. I felt kind of guilty but I honestly just wanted to be alone right now.

I had gotten home and my mother wasn't at home, most likely out with some bad guy. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a water before silently retreating to my room. I flopped down on the bed and wrapped myself up in my sheets.

oOo

I felt as if I had just closed my eyes a second ago when my alarm was blaring in my ear. I had forgotten I had plugged it back in after throwing it across the room. I groaned and rolled out of bed.

I walked over to my closet and pulled out a comfy outfit, I had no motivation to actually take time to look presentable today. (Pic of outfit up there^^)

I made my way over to the mirror and looked up after debating on whether or not I wanted to see myself.

I looked at myself, I saw a girl with big bags under her eyes from crying her heart out and lack of sleep. I saw a girl whose hair was in knots after messing with it so much after yesterdays events, I saw a girl who wanted nothing more than to disappear of the face of the earth just to see if anyone really cared. I was that girl in the mirror, I was that girl with the bags under her eyes, and the knots in her hair, the girl who wanted nothing more than to feel as if anyone really cared enough to drop everything just to search for her if she went missing today.
No matter how hard I tried I could not hide the bags under my eyes. I ended up wiping all the makeup that I had tried using to cover up my under eyes.

I attempted to comb my hair but it just ripped out my hair no matter how hard I tried. I ended up throwing it up into a messy ponytail and decided to deal with it later.

I made my way to the garage and pulled my car out and started the boring drive to school. I had turned on the radio and now One Direction was playing. I started to sing along with the lyrics ever so softly.

I know you've never loved the crinkles by your eyes when you smile,
You've never loved your stomach or your thighs,
The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine,
But I'll love them endlessly.

That was my favorite song of theirs. It was the only song that made me feel beautiful, The first time I had heard it I had broke down crying. I was able to relate to it so much.

I saw the school come into view and turned into the parking lot. I was about relive everything I had been trying to forget last night.

I saw Zayn in front of the school and immediately considered turning back around and going home, but he had already seen me.