When You Live in London (One Direction Fan-Fic)

Chapter Seventeen

Reagan's POV

We arrived at Ryan's flat and we got out of the car, Ryan running over to my side and embracing me in a big hug.

"Are you okay?" this was the forth time I had heard it in the past half hour.

"I'm fine!" I said a little more harsh and a little louder than I had anticipated, "Sorry," I hugged him tighter and released, going inside the building and opening the door to the stairs.

"Is it okay if I ask what happened?" Ryan said following me up the stairs.

"Is it okay if I don't want to talk about it right now?" I asked trying not to sound mean and snobby.

"That's alright," Ryan sighed and opened the door at the top of the stairs for me, "I hope you don't mind that I have someone over?" we walked down the hall a little ways and stopped in front of his red door.

"Who exactly?" my eyebrows knitted together with concern. I didn't really want to socialize with anybody right at this moment.

"Well, Lili and Seth are staying here. So, them," he began, putting away his keys, "And I invited Alexa over before you texted me, and I thought it would be rude to make her leave," he turned the knob and the door opened.

I sighed with relief when I saw that he was telling the truth and only those three people were seated in the living area.

"Is everything alright?" Seth asked as I came in and Lilian embraced me in a hug without question. She must have seen something online about me leaving the arena. I hate how fast the news spreads.

"I just needed to take a little break from everything," I sighed, Lilian held me out at arms length and smiled.

"I really am sorry," she whispered and I smiled.

"Nice to see you again, Alexa," I said looking behind Lilian to see my brothers friend-that-just-so-happened-to-be-a-girl, Alexa standing up behind the couch.

"You too, Reagan," she smiled and walked over to the kitchen.

"You said you needed to take a break?" Seth said coming over to where we were standing, "A break from what exactly?"

I looked down at my shoes and realized my butt was starting to get sore. I looked up through my eyelashes to see everyone in the room again and staring right at me. Some had looks of surprise on their faces and some had looks of concern.

"A break from all the attention," I said, "A break from being caught up in all the media," I sighed, not knowing how to say the next part, "A break from being One Direction's choreographer," I chocked out, hiccuping at the end. Everybody in the room froze and a tear fell down my cheek.

"What?" Ryan almost whispered, a look of disbelief on his face.

"I just can't handle it right now," I said, my voice cracking and another tear rolling down.

A look of realization passed over Lilian's face, "What else happened today?"

I looked at her, another tear falling. Then another, and another until my face was covered and Alexa was giving me a box of tissues.

"If they hurt you, I swear to--," Ryan growled but I cut him off before Seth could join in.

"Th-they-they didn't h-hurt me," I chocked out before another fit of tears came on.

Lilian took me into another hug and I let it all out into her shoulder.

"Did they say something?" Alexa asked coming closer and putting a hand on my shoulder.

"N-no, I just needed a break!" I pushed away from Lilian and out of their grasp. I quickly rushed over to the bathroom and locked the door behind me. But not without people coming after me and trying to talk to me and figure things out.

I don't know what to feel right now. The tabloids already know something is wrong and I feel bad about just leaving like that, but I need to think about my decisions before I make any more. People are starting to talk about me in negative ways and I've been trying to block it out, but I can't anymore. I know Simon was going to talk to management about me. It was just the way he looked at me before he left.

I knew I should have given the boys a complete explanation before I ran out and I feel bad about it. I thought I was getting closer to Liam and all the guys. Will they hate me after the bomb that I'm about to drop on them? Will all the fans hate me after this?

I don't know, but what I do know is that I need to tell them the truth and what I'm going to do next. I know the tour starts in about three weeks, but I need this little break and I'm sure they can find someone way better than me to fill in for the time being.

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Authors Note:

Sorry it's so short but I'm on vacation and I need more time and stuff. I'll post more when I get home!