Betrayal

Chapter 25- 'There isn't enough time'

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Reagan POV

“Reagan, please talk to-.”

I threw my phone down not even bothering to listen to Louis’s 10th voicemail. My party had been a disaster. Scratch that. It has been worse than a disaster. It had been a tragedy, a catastrophe, a debacle. Zayn and Niall literally had to pry Harry and Liam off of Louis before they killed him. Whether or not that was their goal, I didn’t want to know.

Even with the children being around, many expletives were yelled. Harry told his brother multiple places that he was going to stick his foot, and even Liam was seconds away from clawing his eyes out. I was flattered that they were acting this way for my benefit, really. But, beating the crap out of him wasn’t going to solve anything. If that were the case, I would’ve called one of Josh’s former gang buddies ages ago. I’m kidding.

Maybe.

After telling Louis that he “didn’t deserve me” and that he was “a poor excuse for a man”, I had to stop things. Watching them belittle him like this wasn’t making me feel any better as much as I wanted it to. And, I still wasn’t over the fact that he wasn’t wearing his wedding ring. If there was a story behind that, I didn’t know about it because I didn’t bother staying. I walked over to the twins, told Louis that I would bring them back soon, and drove off. So, for the past 3 days, they had been staying at Josh’s. And, I had avoided Louis as much as possible.

“Honey, tell your husband to stop calling here.”

“Sam, I’ve already tried. He obviously hasn’t listened.”

Whenever I didn’t pick up my phone, Louis insisted on calling my job. Usually, Sam didn’t mind. But, because he had called 13 times in the past 45 minutes, that was a tad different. I had just given Sam a cheque from Josh because of the wedding being postponed for another week. Josh’s 3 weeks were up today, and Sam was getting impatient. The people in charge of the venue where the wedding was being held were only going to hold it for so long.

“Can I ask you a question?” I asked Sam, ignoring whatever he was going to say.

“Sure, babe. What’s up?”

He pulled up a chair in front of my desk as I ran my fingers over the material of my skirt. Where do I start?

“How did you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Get over what Chandler did to you. I know how you felt when you found out he cheated, and I know you’ve been coping with it ever since. But, I need to know. How did you get past it?”

Louis didn’t cheat on me, but he still did leave me at one point in time. That couldn’t be forgiven, at least not for the time being.

“I haven’t gotten over it, Reagan. I may put on a calm exterior, but I am…dying inside.”

“Then, how do you get up the urge to get out of bed every morning? How do you keep yourself from jumping out of the nearest window? How can you look at him without bursting into tears?”

“You just do it”, he said, “I’m sorry, Reagan. I wish I could tell you that there’s some kind of secret to this, but I can’t. One day you just wake up, and you realize that…it doesn’t hurt quite as much anymore. And, you use that feeling to get yourself through the rest of the day. Then, you go to sleep, wake up the next day and start all over again.”

I didn’t realize that I was crying until Sam stood up and wrapped his arms around me. I allowed myself to sob.

“It’s not gonna happen overnight, love. Yours happened less than 2 months ago. Mine happened almost 4 months ago, and I still cry every time he comes and picks our daughter up. I know how you’re feeling, I do. You just keep asking yourself why you weren’t good enough and why couldn’t they just stay with you? But, none of this is your fault. As much as I love your husband, and I do, he is the dick. He is the coward who wanted to leave, and you can’t blame yourself for that.”