30 Shades Of Darkness (Taehyung BTS)

Worst Day Ever

"School?! You're kidding right?! How can I possibly be going to school?!" I exclaimed.

"Taehyung, it's been 6 months. I think you're ready"

I'd rather kill myself.

"Your parents have agreed already. Look, I'm not going to make you do something if I know you're not ready okay? You have all your meds, so if anything happens just take an anti-anxiety pill. You'll do fine"

"Is that your answer for everything? Popping pills?! Hm?! You're the crazy one! You think going to school is going to solve something? Tell me doctor, what exactly needs to be solved?!"

She took a deep breath and maintained her calm voice.

"Taehyung, you need to be around others. Isolating yourself isn't going to get you anywhere. Your mother tells me you've been outside more, is that right? She says you've been going into the forest for long walks. I assume this is why you've made so much progress. You don't seem to talk much about Minah anymore."

Because I choose not too. I know if I do it'll only make these sessions longer, I only have 2 more sessions with her and I'm free. I sighed.

"Taehyung, you'll be fine okay? I promise"

Doctors, so smart and yet so idiotic. They study to be smart but yet they themselves have no idea of what they're talking about. If she went through what I did I think she'd see things differently but since everything they know is based on theories it seems to me that they are no smarter than a lab rat who's just trained to find cheese in a maze.

"Fine..."

If it'll get her off my back then I might as well agree. Although, I'm afraid. Everyone will be focused on me and will ask about it...

"Is there something on your kind Taehyung?" She asked.

"No." I said.

"Are you sure?" She asked.

"I said no" I looked at her.

She closed her book. "Very well then. I'll see you in 4 months."

"4 months? Why?"

"Well I need you to experience school again for a while and then when I get back I'll know if you're truly ready to move on in life, it'll also show me what your perspective will be. For example, if you'll be happier or more depressed." She said as she got up. "I know you can overcome all this."

She got on her knees and placed her hand on my thigh then looked at me.

"If you ever need to talk, call me"

I looked where her hand was placed and met her gaze. For a doctor she's awfully touchy.

"That won't be necessary but thank you doctor" I removed her hand off.

Her smile sort of faded and she got off her knees again.

"I'll leave the prescription with your parents." She said.

I nodded.

She walked out without another word.

I sighed heavily and lay on my bed. What was that about? I put my pillow over my face. What am I going to do? Minah, I can't go back to school. I just know everyone will ask about what happened. I'm scared to go back and see all those people who said were our friends but were never there. They didn't even show up and your funeral...

I took the pillow off and sat up. That reminds me...I haven't visited Minah. But if I go...

-Flashback-

"Taehyung, please! Stop making a scene...." My mother held me back.

"No! Minah! Don't put her in there!" I yelled. "Minah!"

"Taehyung..." My mother sobbed.

She'd never see me at in such a way. Minah's mother approached me and hugged me.

"Oh Taehyung..." She began to cry.

I cried and cried. I cried until everything hurt. Even though my tears had ran out, I cried and yelled. I spilled out my heart and soul and they lowered her into the ground and began throwing the dirt on top of the coffin.

"Minah!" I screamed. "Don't...."

I couldn't even breathe anymore. The sobbing had broken me and I had no energy left.

"Mom! Tell them to stop....Minah!"

My mom and Minah's mother held me tighter. I couldn't escape to stop what they were doing. Minah was being buried right before me, I'll never see her again.

-end of flashback-

I felt a tear escape my eye and it streamed down all the way to my chin. I wiped it before it could fall. My heart ached. Minah, as much as I want to forget what happened I can't. You were everything to me. The very breath that kept me alive has left but somehow I'm still alive.

Why did I ever take you to that party...It should've been me who died, not you....

"Taehyung"

I gasped and wiped my eyes. "Mom....you scared me..."

"Sorry honey, I didn't mean to startle you. Are you alright?" She asked as she sat beside me.

"Yeah...I'm just a bit scared. Mom I know if I go back there, they'll only remind me of what happened and everything I do and everywhere I go, I'll be reminded of her..." I said.

"I know sweetly but it'll make you stronger. It'll help you get over it."

"No matter what you make me do or how much medication I take I'll never get over it mom. I've accepted what happened, Minah isn't coming back but this is something I can't do...mom please." I looked at her with desperate eyes.

She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry honey..." She embraced me.

I hugged her back.

She comforted me and kissed my head. "Taehyung, I know it hasn't been easy for you...Losing Minah was a tragedy for everyone. But life goes on, you may not understand it now but soon you'll be able to fully accept the fact that Minah is a chapter in your life and she'll always be there. No one can take that away but you need to try to move on. Keep your head up."

"Mom...What if I feel guiltier going back? What if they all point fingers at me?"

"Taehyung, this is a new beginning for you. Don't let anyone make you feel bad or upset you. You need to be strong for yourself and for Minah. Understand?" She looked at me.

She's right. I can't just cower in fear all my life, eventually I'll need to face everyone and show them I'm okay. Even if deep inside I'm a complete disaster. I took a deep breath.

"Okay, I'll go.." I said.

All I can do is pray everything will be alright.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>TO BE CONTINUED....