Magical - Mollie and AJ's Strictly Story

Part 14 - Memorable

Oh, poop. Well, I think I made that memorable all right. It was going so well. I was enjoying myself so much. Smiling my way through it, to the point where my teeth were feeling sensitive. It was going perfectly. And then...

I don't know what happened. Did I trip over his foot? Did I trip him up? Did I trip over my own foot? I don't know – it had never happened before in any rehearsals. I stumbled. He had his arms around me, so I didn't fall and I got back in on the next beat straight into the rest of the routine, which was, as Gemma and Jeanette love to say, flawless. But the damage was done. Marked down on what I thought would be my best routine.

I am so angry at myself. WHY????? Why did that have to happen in the live show???? All that work, all week, all those hours. And I cock it up. If I wasn't so pleased with the rest of it, I would cry.

Of course, he was positive. Apparently I picked it up and carried on like a pro. I felt him rub my shoulder blade as I picked the steps back up immediately and knew he was pleased and reassuring me. He carried on like that all the way up to the Clauditorium. He held my hand behind his back when the scores came in, knowing we would take a knock for my stumble. He knew I'd be so upset with myself. Ellen told me I'd done well to get straight back into the dance – she told me about someone years ago who gave up and sat on the stairs after they went wrong and he still got to the final. That made me feel a little better.

And let's face facts – why was it hard to concentrate tonight? Oh yes, he was wearing a waistcoat again. Did I stand a chance? Really? I think not. And being so close to him. I was a goner.

Lots of people upped their game tonight. Alexandra's cha cha. Joe's Charleston. Ruth was amazing. She's such a lovely lady, I think she will be a friend for life. But not in the same way he will be a friend for life. That's what we are saying to the media at the moment – that we are not an item but we will be friends for life. I mean, what can we say? Really? It isn't Love Island! Like, I can't turn around to the media and say how I fancy him rotten and have no idea of how things will work out between us. But it is pretty obvious that we get on well.

Don't start me on the running order. Second again? Ellen says that is the death slot. Second or third on, she says, is the most forgettable place in the show. And how many times have I been on second or third? Should I be getting a message? Maybe they don't want me to be here?