Magical - Mollie and AJ's Strictly Story

Part 25 - Under pressure

This is going to be a tough week. Learning the quickstep alone would be hard enough for me, but we have two dances this week – we have to do the Paso-Doble-thon as well. He's trying to make it as easy as possible for me, recycling as much choreography as possible from our original Paso, but it's like my brain is overloaded, saturated. The memories associated with our Paso – I did feel absolutely crushed that week – keep threatening to overwhelm me. There was a moment today in training where I just couldn't process any more information. I choked back tears as I said to him that I couldn't even think about the rest of it right then, and I saw the switch in his eyes – he changed from 'teaching' AJ to 'boyfriend' AJ, softly he told me it was ok and we took a break. Not that he is my boyfriend officially, but there was a shift to the man who thinks of me as his princess and would do anything in his power to make me happy. He must know how hard it is for me to hear the judges pick over every little thing I do wrong. I think he's more protective of my poor right shoulder than I am.

I think he realised I needed to find the joy in this dance. We ended up dancing it in the street! And I have found myself falling in love with quickstep. All I have to do is get the steps into my muscle memory and keep myself plastered to him. No gapping here. Come on, Mollie, you can do this!

He's also told me that nothing matters in the Paso-Doble-thon other than the two of us. All I need to do is focus on him and follow his lead. Ignore everyone else. No smiling at my friends.

So I've come to the mirror to rehearse my stern Paso face. I think the kindest thing I can say is that it is still a work in progress. I can't help it. I have to fight a smile every time I'm with him.