Magical - Mollie and AJ's Strictly Story

Part 38 - It ain't over 'til it's over

I look surprisingly upbeat for someone who missed out on a place in the final. I pull my hair back into a quick ponytail and grab my toothbrush. I think of all the positive things we discussed after we left the television studio.

It was probably for the best that we aren't in the final: I would have had to relearn two dances from earlier in the series – one of which the judges would have chosen – and also learn a showdance, I know he would have wanted to make it spectacular. It would have been more hard work and I was already exhausted and emotional. I would have been constantly worrying about facing unduly harsh criticism. There would be more press scrutiny.

Sure, I would have been thrilled to have given AJ his first Strictly final and there would have been lovely benefits too, like another week of training together. But it's not like I won't see him this week. The show isn't over, we have It Takes Two later, then there are group rehearsals for the big closing number at the end of the series. And we can spend the whole day together on Saturday without the pressure of the competition. In a way, it's the best of both worlds. It's still a Strictly week, but it's going to be more relaxed. I can't imagine having to go from twelve hour rehearsal days to not seeing each other for several weeks, like some of the other contestants. Although, it does remind me that we will have to face up to post-Strictly life soon enough. The time of the tour is going to be difficult to manage – knowing that he is where I wish I could be. But I don't want to taint what is left of the rest of the bubble worrying about the future. I just want to soak up every emotion, every precious heartbeat of time, tattoo the images to my memory...because chances like this do not come up twice in a lifetime.

Maybe things work out for the best sometimes.