Magical - Mollie and AJ's Strictly Story

Part 45 - Whenever, wherever, we're meant to be together

"Oh no, Mollie." I groan at my reflection in the mirror. I am on my own. At the moment. The past few weeks have been a rollercoaster. Maybe we were a bit naïve. Didn't understand how invested people were in us. How much the press wanted photos of 'Mollie&AJ'. I should have known. It isn't exactly new to me. But we were so swept up. I've tried to suppress my concerns for a few weeks. I could understand being papped in Manchester – we had said where we were and it wasn't exactly long after Strictly. But it made me paranoid.

We were so careful over Christmas and New Year's Eve. We didn't post any new photos with both of us. But I think people guessed we had been together. Certain comments could be construed as meaningful. But there wasn't anything newsworthy, really. We thought things had moved on.

Then there was Jason and James' wedding. We didn't think it would be such a big deal – it was mostly dance people, after all, not really a 'showbiz' event. We had travelled in separately – I went by train with Frankie and Wayne, he went by car. It was such a lovely evening. What a venue! And the fireworks, the dancing, the entertainment. It was lovely to be able to be a couple – to dance (non-competitively) together, flirt at the table, watch the fireworks. I remember resting my head on his shoulder during the fireworks and thinking that this was it – how life should be. The wedding was in a glass house in the middle of a park – like seriously, the biggest walk to catch a cab. Yet we were photographed together. Me completely clinging on to him – wine and sub-zero temperatures will do that to a girl – while he held my (furry) handbag for me. If carrying that bag isn't true love, I don't know what is!

We were upset at being photographed at a social function, but hey, the people involved were in the media in one way so it wasn't, we decided on reflection, that intrusive. There were other famous people there. Perhaps we hadn't thought it through.

The coffee shop was out of the blue. Poor AJ, he was really annoyed when he spotted the photos being taken – we had just popped out for a coffee. It wasn't anywhere high-profile, we weren't even being in any way affectionate with each other. He wanted to go and talk to the photographer. It wouldn't help. I convinced him to get in the car. But he'd seen how it would be.

We escaped for a quiet weekend before he headed off on tour, but it was just a postponement of what we would do about 'us'. The hard part was that when we were together, we were the happiest we could possibly be. It was all the external factors that were putting pressure on us – the press interest, the separation due to the tour, my general wish to keep my private life private.

I lean my head against the cool glass of the mirror and breathe softly, my exhaled breath fogging up the glass. I am not pleased at the moment.

Maybe we didn't help ourselves – liking each other's photos on insta, indulging in a little insta-flirting again. I can't deny he won the insta-flirting swimsuit round. But we tried our hardest not to be seen together. We went out, but we didn't advertise it. But we didn't want to have to share what we have. Well, he might be ready to share, but I've been burned by public relationships before and I never want to be seen as the woman who broke his heart. We talked it through tonight. The way things are, we have two options: brazen it out with them watching our every move; go to ground and give it time for the fickle showbiz world to move on. It wasn't an easy conversation. I didn't know what to do for the best. Neither did he.

All we knew is that we love each other very much and we will do what we have to in order to preserve that. So for now...no photos together, no public omissions of love, no visiting work places, no detailed messages on insta or any other public forum. Keep it between the two of us and our families. No denials to the press, but avoiding talking about 'us' as much as possible. Try to keep 'likes' to a minimum. In the public eye, keep it work-focussed. Protect each other. It's what we've always tried to do. So for now, we are back to being cautious about the present, yet optimistic about the future.

We didn't mean to fall in love in the spotlight.And that's what people saw. They got to witness one of the most intimate emotionalprocesses in life. That uncontrollable attraction. But whenever, wherever wehad met, we would have fallen for each other. We're meant to be together.