Losing The One You Love

Back To Reality

It was the start of another school year and life for Pha and Yo was changing. Pha and Jackson were struggling to hold on to their failing relationship. Their little getaway, designed to help strengthen their bond was nothing more than a parade of meaningless sex. Jackson was scared to admit that Pha was still hung up on Yo, afraid his fears would turn into reality. He could sense the tension between them but didn't want to rock the boat in case it tips over. Pha was the first person he'd ever truly loved, and to find out that you were nothing more than a distraction hurt, so he kept clinging on to what little was left of them, in the small hope that maybe he was wrong. He didn't want to face the truth that Pha was still pining after Yo, even if Pha tried to keep denying it to himself. He thought maybe the time apart, visiting their families, would be what they needed. Giving them both time to think about what they want, about what was important to them, but all it did was plant more doubts in Jackson's mind. 

Yo, however, had a lovely vacation. He was able to spend a week with his friends at a secluded 5 star resort. They went swimming, hiking, clubbing. You name it and they probably did it. It was the first time in what felt like forever that Pha didn't cross his mind at all. He was starting to feel like his old self, and everyone else could see it. For the remained of their holidays, his friends all went back home to visit their families and Yo, being the loving son he is, went back home as well. He had really missed his parents and his mother was doing so much better now. Pha had rarely crossed his mind over the break, and whenever he did Yo didn't cry or breakdown like he had done in the past. Yes Pha had hurt him deeply, but with the help of his friends he was able to slowly move on from that and set himself free. 

School had been going for a few weeks, the medical students were only a few months away from starting their internships and it was starting to stress some of the students, especially Jackson. On their way back to Jackson's place Jackson had asked when he was going to get to spend the night at Pha's place. Not that he didn't mind Pha always coming over but he felt that it was only fair he get to spend the night at Pha's. It was convenient too since Pha's dorm was closer to their campus. What he didn't expect was Pha's blatant refusal. Before when their secret relationship had just been exposed and Pha didn't want him to come over, it made sense. Not wanting to flaunt their relationship in front of Yo, causing even more pain to him but now that it had been a few months Jackson didn't understand why Pha didn't want him over. He had tried everything to get Pha to change his mind but nothing seemed to work. Finally, after Jackson kept pushing his buttons, Pha snapped. 

"Just drop it ok. I don't want you at my place. Can you not understand that?" Pha screamed at Jackson while driving. "But why? You spend so much time at my place, why can't I spend one night at yours? Or are you hiding something from me?" Jackson retaliated with just as much anger. Pha was shocked at Jackson's temper, never had he seen him like this. He almost wanted to cave in and let Jackson spend the night, but if he did he was going to have to give reason as to why he still kept everything of Yo's. From his spare clothes Pha kept in the bottom draw, his old notes from previous classes he had left there once from studying, to even an old pink milk cup that Yo had only half finished before he fell asleep. How was he going to explain it to him. To the average person it would seem like Pha still held a candle for Yo, that despite the fact he has a new boyfriend, he is still in love with his old flame. 

"It's not that I don't want you there Jackson. I just like spending time at yours. It feels more homely and welcoming and this way we don't have to run into Yo or the others" Pha reasoned out. "I get that Pha, but it's been months. Isn't it time to stop worrying about what Yo thinks. Yes he was hurt, but like they say time heals all wounds" Jackson said softly. They spent the rest of the drive in silence, neither one knowing what to say next. Once they arrive back at dorm Jackson quickly grabbed a change of clothes and went straight to the bathroom to freshen up, making sure to lock the door behind him. Recently the two of them were arguing a lot. Their once seemingly perfect relationship was going up in smokes before their eyes and there was nothing either one of them could do to stop it. Jackson had to lock the bathroom door, knowing full well that if he wasn't careful they would end up having sex instead of talking through their issues. Lately that's how all their fights ended up. They'd go at it like rabbits without resolving the conflict between them, making the cracks in their partnership bigger as time went on. 

For Yo, things were slightly different. After having a such a wonderful and peaceful holiday he was ready to go back to school and focus on his studies. He spent most of his time outside of the classroom either studying or hanging out with his friends. He never once thought of Pha during this time, which was mainly due to his new budding friendship with Caleb. Although Caleb was busy with work he made sure to spend time with Yo and his gang and they would call each other at least twice a week to catch up on anything new in their lives. Caleb seemed like the answer to Yo's prayers. He was able to help Yo though his pain, and even shed some light from his own past experience. Ming was no longer worried about Caleb trying to hurt Yo in anyway. As time went by he could see how sincere Caleb was around the group, especially around Yo. It didn't take long for them to adopted him into the group. It almost felt like they had been friends for a lifetime. At long last Yo's heart was mending, it was no longer shattered into a million pieces. He was becoming whole once again.