Chapter Thirteen

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"Allah loves the good - doers." Qur'an 2: 195

Hamads pov

I toss and turn on this huge empty bed, I can't sleep alone not after almost 4 months of sleeping - cuddling with my wife, it fells empty! You look empty. Yes i am.

I check the time it's 3:37am, i bet Aisha's asleep already. Why do you care? Maybe because she's my wife, duh!

The wife you yelled at?

Don't make me feel bad about this, it's all her fault, all her fault it's her fault that i am all alone on this stupid bed, in this stupid room. Ugh!!

I shouldn't have acted the way i did, but I couldn't hold it anymore. She's too childish to not notice that they affect me, I kept quite because i wanna be the bigger person i am, but no she had to hug another loser in my presence.  That loser is her cousin, bro!

Yeah cousin, with lots of benefits.

I get it.

Whatever it is, ain't gonna apologize first. Well she did apologize. Ugh i am a freaking mess!

I guess i am just gonna learn how to sleep without her, yes that is what i am gonna do.

After what seems like ages I still couldn't sleep, I check the time it's 15 minutes past 4am. Hell!

Oh!

My,

God!

Why isn't the time rushing? I stood up and walk towards Aishas room, I can't knock, no I couldn't knock. What if she is asleep? I'd wake her up, right? What if she isn't? What if she's angry at me? Omg! What if she sends me out of her room? What if she doesn't want to see my face again? Oh lord! With all the 'what if(s)' i am starting to get nervous.

I stood by the door for almost 10mins before turning the knob and entering the room ever so quietly, it is dark so i assume she is asleep already. Oh Thank God! I walk towards the bed and turned on the lamp beside her, and that's when I am able to see her face, no, no tear stained face. Oh my goodness, no, she didn't cry herself to sleep now did she?

Oh!

I failed as a husband and son, my mama taught me better. I couldn't believe what i did, i am still regretting the time i shouted at her on the first night of our marriage, and now? Her face is definitely gonna haunt me. Ya Rab!.

"I am so sorry baby, i swear i didn't mean all what i said. Yes it's true I was angry at you but that's because i was jealous. Bubbles! Please don't be angry at me, as it is now i am guilty for shouting at you like that, I shouldn't have acted the way i did. Sorry once again, wallah i couldn't sleep without you. I lov-" I can't say it, not when she can't hear me. I want to confess in a special way, not with her sleeping and angry at me. I kiss her forehead, cheeks and nose, before muttering. "I miss you Red baby." A tear fell on her left cheek, and that's when i notice I have tears in my eyes.

Am i crying? No.

After how many years, you're now crying over a girl?

They are just tears, not crying, just tears, yes! By Allah I love her.

I wipe my tears and went back to my room, it's almost Fajr no need of sleeping now. I lie down and start scrolling through our pictures, and the ones I took her unknowingly, my Allah she is gorgeous.

Ma sha Allah.

I am definitely overreacting, but who cares?

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