Shields- A Tom Hiddleston Fanfiction

Chapter 24

OMG I JUST SAW HAMILTON!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think I am going to freak. It was either a very late or very early birthday present for me. It was soooooooooooooooooooo good!

After a very long night, I have no energy to do anything. So, I don't. I just sit there in the bed, facing the wall, reviewing my life choices and mistakes. Attempting to ignore the fact that Tom is on the other side of the bed.

When I hear sheets suddenly rustle, and the weight of the bed shifts, I close my eyes, pretending I am asleep. I listen as Tom gets out of bed and begins walking around. I hear the door to the bathroom open and close. A few minutes later, Tom comes back out.

There is a moment where no noise is heard, and then the opening and closing of the hotel room door as he leaves for his morning run.

Once I am sure he is gone, I sit up, shifting back so I can rest against the headboard. Fatigue claims every inch of my body, and I have a hard time keeping my head on straight. The sleepless night combined with too much drinking from before do not make a good combination.

Suddenly, my phone is buzzing. I see Holly's name on the screen and lethargically reach over to pick up the phone. I set it on speaker so I can be lazy and still listen to her.

"What the actual hell, Alice?" Holly sounds pissed. I'm a little scared. "I wake up first thing this morning and get a drunken, hysterical, babbling message from you, and half of it didn't even make sense." A pause. "Are you okay?"

I open my mouth, but no words come. Finally, I manage to whisper a horse, "No"

Holly doesn't say anything for a moment, evidently processing the fact that what I said the night before wasn't drunken babble. Then I hear her cuss and a lot of rummaging. "What happened, Alice?" Her voice is softer now. Tears begin rolling down my cheeks and I cover my eyes, shaking slightly.

"Like I said last night, I screwed up." I drop my hand into my lap. "I was very, very drunk, and running high on hormones. You know how it works. Anyways, I was in the kitchen getting some water, when suddenly, Sebastian was there. Then he was kissing my neck and then my lips, and it felt so good, I didn't stop him. I should have but I didn't." I take a deep breath. "Yeah, we made out. But do you know what the kicker is? I was thinking about Tom the whole time. It wasn't Sebastian's hands on my body, it was Tom's. I wasn't kissing Sebastian's lips, I was kissing Tom." I groan. "I was unfaithful, while still wanting to be faithful. Does that even make sense?!"

A sob breaks from my mouth, and I close my eyes, rocking myself gently, my hand clasped over my lips.

"Oh, oh God." I hear Holly mutter. "Geez, Alice, I'm sorry."

"I can't even truly explain it to him." I croak, head in my hands. "I mean, everything that comes out of my mouth sounds like an excuse. What do I even say? 'Tom, I wasn't being unfaithful! The entire time we were making out, I was imagining the dream I had last night in which I had sex with you! We were married and happy!' My voice breaks again, and I succumb to the emotions, sobbing openly now.

For a few minutes, I just cry, unable to do anything else. Holly comforts me the best she can through the phone. Eventually, I calm down enough to get a grip on myself. I roll over and am hit by the strong scent of Tom. It lingers on his pillow and on his side of the bed. This time, my cries are quieter, and I just lay there, weeping.

"Alice, I am so sorry," Holly whispers to me. I stare at the phone screen, swallowing.

"Thanks for calling, Holly. Sorry for dragging you into this mess. But then again, that's all I do anymore, right? Drag other people into things they'd rather not." I hang my head. "Thanks anyways."