Two Peas in a Pod

21

Jackie was 8 months pregnant. So the at Otis Air Force base they set up her maternity suite. The Press wasn't allowed in there. But someone allowed them to sneak in anyway. Then who ever allowed them in their told them they spent $5000 on all of the furniture. Then it was printed in almost every newspaper across America. When Jack found seen the paper he was furious. He placed too phone calls. The first one was with Secretary of Defense Arthur Sylvester.

"The last word that they had from me yesterday after I talked to Pierre was to keep the photographers out of there and fight 'em out of there. They went ahead on their own....The funny part about this is its side light which might lighten your day is the army you know who we saved from this sort of thing out of Walter Reed web they saw this yesterday they were unhappy if you please."

"That's why the god damned service they ought to cut 'em a billion dollars."

"That's right, exactly!"

"You think of what the waste that goes on..."

"It's absolute nonsense!"

"Imagine what they do if you didn't just stay on their ass? they were going to order me three planes instead of one-"

"Precisely."

"They were going to do all these ....I mean that's the way these guys spend money!"

"Absolutely!"

"They're shocked if we don't. now the only thing is I'd like to send that furniture back. Have they paid for it?"

"I'll find out, Mr. President."

"Just on my own. I don't care if we owe on a store but I just like to send that god dammed furniture back. Probably worth about fifteen hundred to two thousand bucks. "

"What I asked 'em yesterday, Where did the five thousand dollars go? one of the things they told me.. I said
Well, you couldn't have possibly spent five thousand on that! they've lied about it. Now I've gone back to them this morning and said Get the Facts! I'm sick of being -"

"Yeah let's find out-"

"They're telling the President at the White House the wrong facts. I said let's get the facts to begin with-"

"Lets find out how much they spent on this thing. Lets find out what they spent, where the money came from. Also where the bills have been paid, cause a lot of this stuff we can just shop right back today."

"Right I'll get right on it."

"I'd love to send it back to Jordan Marsh in an Air Force truck this afternoon, with that captain on it."

They share a laugh. Jack speaks first again.

"What about transferring his ass out of there in about a month? he doesn't have any sense. For incompetence, not for screwing us."

"Exactly!

"And that silly fella who had his picture taken next to the bed. Have him go up to Alaska, too. Pierre will be talking to you about that."

"Right okay!"

They hang up and Jack calls the Air Force general.

"General that Air Force has caused it's self more grief with that silly bastard. Did you see the post this morning?"

"Yes sir I'm looking at it right now."

"Did you see that fell's picture by the bed?"

"Yes sir."

"And do you see that furniture that they bought from Jordan Marsh? what the hell did they let the reporters in there for?!! are they crazy up there? now you know what's going to do..? any congressman is gonna stand up and say Christ if they can throw away $5000 on this lets cut them another billion dollars. You just sank the Air Force budget. They're crazy up there! are they crazy? that silly bastard with his picture next to the bed...

"Sir I'm applaud but um-"

"I want to find out who paid for that furniture because I want it Togo back to Jordan Marsh."

"Alright sir-"

"That fellow is incompetent who had his picture taken next to Mrs. Kennedy's bed, if that's what is. he's a silly bastard. I wouldn't have him running a cathouse. Christ they're not all incompetent is that the way they're throwing money around over there? you'd better look into. Especially when you told me they hadn't spent a cent."

"Well sir this is obviously-"

"Well, this is obviously a fuck up."

They hang up. Jack slams the phone down as Bobby walks in.

"Damn Jack who are you drilling?"
"That damn bastard.. The General of the Air Force.-"
"Kind of figured, I saw the paper too."
"They lied to me. they said they didn't spend a cent but turns out they sank the budget?"
"I know Jack just chill!"
"Oh no then that silly Bastard who took his picture by Jackie's bed? who the hell does that?"
" I will handle it."
"Well someone better of I will and it wont be pretty. That's non sense!"

Jackie walks in. Sobbing

"Oh bunny did you see the paper?"
"Yeah I did its bull shit."
"Jack language!"
"Sorry baby. I'm just beyond pissed off at these people. I feel like I can't trust no one around her but you guys."
"I feel the same way. Come on bunny lets go to bed."

Jack and Jackie go up stairs and settle into bed. They began to cuddle when Jack started to laugh.

"What's so funny bunny?"
"I can't get over the silly bastard that took his picture next to your bed!"
Jackie started laughing.
"Yeah that was pretty funny!"
"I love you Jackie! and this babies in there!"
"I love you too bunny and so do they!"

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The conversation that took place with both of the guys on the phone is on YouTube. That's where I got it from. Very funny to listen too! It's called JFK on the phone cursing! so yes those conversations really did happen.