Bestfriends (A Hayes Grier Fanfiction)

Voice Of a Monster

Mackenzie's POV

I was laying in bed after eating dinner and showering thinking about Hayes. Why did he have to mess up like this again? Maybe I shouldn't talk to him anymore.

Would he even care if I didn't exist?

No, remember? He just used you. That's all that you are. A toy.

I remembered that I had a dark past with depression. Oh and it was so hard to break past it.

Hopefully these voices in my head didn't just invite depression right back in.

Maybe if you cut yourself than you'll feel a little better.

Hayes doesn't care, right?

Stop it, you're worthless.

"STOP IT!" I screamed just a little to loud. Now I was sitting up in bed. I think I felt a little tear slide down my face.

And another one.

What was wrong with me?

My phone buzzed and it was from Hayes.

From: Hayes- hey babe can we please talk about this whole thing? I promise its not what you think it is.

I was so frustrated so I threw my phone against the wall and screamed into my pillow.

A few moments later my bedroom door opened. It was my mom.

I must have looked like a monster in my pajamas and messy hair. Oh and don't forget my tear stained face.

Her face knew it. Depression was back. And I realized it just then.

"Honey, um, can we talk about something?" My mom said as she shut my door softly. She sat on the foot of my bed.

"Sure. What?" I answered.

"Well, um, is your, um, your..."

There was a dead silence.

"Is your depression back? I can hear you from my room. You kept on saying bad things about yourself and I'm just worried. You know...last year."

Last year, I always got picked on for everything I did. But I never figured out why I was always a common target. So one day I was cutting and my mom accidentally walked in on me. She sent me to see a therapist for a few visits.

My cutting scars had thankfully vanished. It made me glad. I didn't want anybody making fun of me for my scars.

"No mom. Just a stupid boy. That's all." She nodded.

"Well okay I was just making sure. Love you goodnight."

After she left and went to her room I went to go and find my razor from the bathroom.

My phone was playing some music. My favorite lyrics came on.

Found another victim, didn't leave a mark, no one knows its you miss. Jackson.

And there it was. My old blade. I hadn't touched it since last year.

With a shaky and sweaty palm I brushed off the old dried blood into the trash. It was good as new now.

The blade was getting closer to my skin. A single tear fell and landed on the edge of the blade.

And there I knew it. Depression had succeeded on making its way back to me.

Cut after cut. I was crying at this point.

There you go. Good job!

I tried to shake it out of my head but I couldn't.

The blade fell out of my fingers. My vision was all blurry.

Call me a doctor, doctor

To bring me back to life

And then I collapsed cold on the floor.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

And there it is, your newest update at the moment.

What do you all think?

Sorry about not updating I'm just so busy. Like a busy bee! Haha

I love you all!

-Mackenzie

❤(PS I might not make a sequel for this story. I'm still thinking about it!)❤