Sunday 8th March
153 days after.
I sat on the couch in front of the tv as The Office played, i mean it was just in the background, i was just staring at the tv, not really watching it. I heard Will laugh at something, from beside me. God knows what happened to make him laugh so hard, but i didn't really care. I mean i love The Office just as much as the next guy, but, i just wasn't in the mood to be watching comedy at this moment in time.. I turned so i was looking at Will. He was an alright roommate, but i didn't necessarily want him around all the time. I mean if it was last year when he moved in, then sure, i'd be perfectly okay with him moving in. But at this time, he was the worst to have around. He was so happy. And i was so... Not. Everything was just getting worse for me lately. Ever since I made Calum leave. Everything just went downhill. I used to live such a normal life and sometimes i just really wish that i had never met Calum. I'm not even angry at him anymore, i'm just so sad. I can't control it. I don't think i've smiled for the past month. Arabella, Will and Ella kept telling me how worried they were but i knew they just pitied me. Well i don't want there pity. Thats the last thing i want. All i want is to go back to the way it was. 'Cause this is just too much. I feel drained. Emotionally. Physically. And mentally. Everything that i ever do just makes me feel tired. I have no motive to do anything. I have nothing to try for. I have no one to try for. I just can't be bothered anymore.
I continued to watch Will, watching all his movements, taking in all his little features. He looked a lot like my dad. Which isn't surprising really, because he was my dads, brothers son. Will had dirty blonde hair and bright blue eyes, exactly as my dad had. I used to be pretty close to Will when we were younger but i haven't seen him for a couple years now. Mainly because of this stupid argument between my dad and my grandpa. Apparently that damn argument ruined mine and my dads relationship with half of our family. But not Will. No. My uncle Phil (Will's dad) stuck up for my dad and apparently my grandpa disowned the both of them. Which only peeves me off even more, i mean from the - very little - information my uncle Phil told me, when he dropped Will off, it was all my grandpa's fault. And if i'm going to be perfectly honest, i really don't want anything to do with my grandpa. He's a bit of a bum really. Disowning half of his family because he didn't get his way. Ha. Sounds like something... Calum... would.. do... Calum. Dammit Calum. I can't go one flipping day without missing him. I just miss everything about him. I hate him. But i love him. And i just... Ugh. I just wanted to punch him for making me like this.
"Charlotte, why aren't you laughing? you used to love this show?" Will questioned, finally removing his attention from the tv, to me.
"Just not in the mood." I replied simply, not really wanting to elaborate any further.
"But Charlotte-" he cut himself off, as i shot him a look to say 'stop'. He turned back to the screen and continued watching it as i exhaled deeply and dropped my gaze to the floor. Dammit i'm a mess.
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