Wednesday 8th April
"Charlotte seriously get up and do something." Will groaned at me for about the millionth time today.
"Can you just leave me alone Will." I mumbled, starting to get fed up of his pleas to get me out of bed.
"Charlotte just get up. Stop being lazy." He sighed, i rolled my eyes, getting angrier by the moment.
"Get out Will." I snapped.
"Charlotte." He warned.
"Get lost Will!" I yelled back throwing a pillow at him.
"Charlotte, seriously get up." He said sternly throwing the pillow back at me.
"This is my apartment not yours. I'm letting you live here so shut up and get out." I snapped. He muttered a few things under his breath before walking out, leaving me to mope. I know its sounds like I'm being really cruel but I'm not. He does this near every day. And it's now a Wednesday... Another work day. Oh well, i'll call in sick. I call in sick a lot lately, and Ella knows i'm not sick anymore, she accepts it. She knows everything about whats happened so she understands and lets me have my days off. She doesn't mind, she just calls Ash in to help her. Yeah, Ella's been dating Ashton - the guy from Calum's band - for a couple months now. He's a nice guy. Took him a while to grow a pair and ask her out though. They're cute. I've only really seen Ash and Ella together a couple times because i told her to keep him away from me. He reminds me too much of Calum. But that is besides the point. The point was that i'm not going into work, and Will can't stop me. I mean I really don't want to get up at god knows what time it is, just because Will wants me to stop being a 'hermit'. It's not my fault. Well... Maybe its partially my fault because, i mean, i was the one that told Calum to leave. But its like, when he left, everything just went back to normal. He didn't try to contact me or anything. Which I'm sort of thankful for. It gave me a chance to think things through. And lets just say... After a month. I wanted him back......badly. And then things sort of went downhill i guess. In January my dad died after a long term fight with dementia. I was sort of distraught at first. I didn't know what to do with myself. Ella was always here but it's not the same really... We have a weird relationship because we're not exactly best friends but we're not just work friends either. And even though i always told her everything. I just felt like this in particular, i didn't want to talk to her about. But anyway, i guess things got a little tiny tiny bit better when Will moved in... I guess i should thank my grandpa but i never to speak to that idiot ever again. But nevertheless, Will's not a bad roommate, he just has a thing for getting involved in stuff that has nothing to do with him...but he's family and i love him. I never told Will about Calum because he gets super overprotective. I thought that if i kept what happened between me and Calum, to myself then it would be easier. But it wasn't. God it's been hard as hell without him. And i know you're probably thinking I'm a psychopath for missing him so much when i only knew him for a week. And it wasn't even necessarily a good week. But i guess you could say that he was my 'first love'. Yeah. I said love. I always told myself not to deny myself of the simple pleasures in life. And if admitting I'm in love makes me happy. Then in no way am i going to deny myself of that. I mean of course I've never experienced 'true love' but i assume this is what it feels like. I mean, getting butterflies when i see him? Feeling my knees go weak just at the mention of his name, wanting to be with him all the time, constantly having him on my mind, and replaying the days we spent together, even the bad ones. I fall a little harder every day. I hate feeling like this. But if you've fallen in love before, you know that you really can't help feeling this way
So i guess that is how things have been going. And I'll tell you, its been hell. I hate myself so much for falling for someone so fast. Its so strange. I can't wrap my head around it. I never thought it would happen to someone like me. It makes no sense to think that just over half a year ago i was completely repulsed by the idea of love. And now I'm foolishly, completely fallen in love. ((i apologise for the unintentional one direction song quote :')) I just want to punch him in the face for making me feel like this. But i can't do that. I can't hurt him. Damn. I felt tears starting to brim my eyes as i overthought everything, to the point where i couldn't handle it, so i shoved my face into my pillow, releasing - what i thought were - quiet sobs every couple of seconds.
"Charlotte, there's someone here to see you." I heard Will speak as my door creek open slightly, signalling he had entered my room.
"I don't want to see anyone Will!! And I thought i told you to get out of my room!!" I yelled, but it came out slightly muffled as i didn't remove my face from the pillow.
"Charlie." he warned, now sounding really irritated, but i don't care, i was getting really annoyed by his presence.
"Get out!!!" I yelled into my pillow as more tears fell from my eyes, soaking the pillow i was hugging.
"Charlotte Leigh-Anne Duncan, stop being a lazy shit and get the fuck out of your bed!" He screamed at me.
"You can't tell me what to do Will! You are not my dad! Just because he's dead doesn't mean you take his damn place!! So get the hell out of my room before i kick you out myself!" I screamed into my pillow, but it only made me cry even more.
"Oh jesus, you're crying." He muttered to himself. I heard the sound of heavy footsteps and quiet whispering before i felt a hand lay on my back.
"I said get out Will! How many times do i have to tell you that I don't want to see anyone today so whoever the hell it is, tell them to get lost!!" I yelled into my pillow once again but the hand didn't remove from my back. His presence felt vaguely familiar. My head snapped up as i turned around, ready to scream at Will to get out. Instead i sat there speechless. I sat up quickly, crossing my legs as i stared dumbfound at him. I instantly pulled down my jumper sleeves, so they covered my hands, and wiped under my eyes from were I'd been crying.
"Hey baby, I missed you." He spoke with a small, sympathetic, smile, as he reached up to my face and helped wipe some of my tears away. Before he could say anything more i jumped into his arms. Literally. I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck and my legs securely around his waist. I nuzzled my head into his neck, attempting to stop myself from crying any more. He wrapped his arms around my waist and hugged me tighter. It was the best feeling the world. Having someone hold you so tightly. Makes you feel wanted.
"If i ever tell you to leave for 6 months again, please don't listen to me." I whispered in his ear, refusing to pull away.
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P.s. yayyy its happy again. Sorry its been so depressing lately, i just needed to get those chapters over with, but everything's okay now, Calum's backkk✌️
P.p.s. i need a ship name for Charlotte and Calum, if you have any ideas just comment,💕
P.p.p.s. i love you. please share this story - i'd love it to get more reads - and comment and vote and all of that because i really appreciate it.💓
Okay i'm sorry for this boring note, i love you. thank you👌💜
