Sunday 2nd August
Will walked out my room - not caring to wait and see if i was actually okay with him letting Calum in - but not before he opened the curtains of course, near blinding me as he did so. He closed the door behind himself, and before i knew it, it was being opened again. I didn't take my eyes of him. His hair wasn't style up as he had recently been wearing it, but instead, roughly scattered across his face. His brown eyes glistened as they met with mine, i couldn't bring myself to look away. He was so beautiful. All the time, doesn't matter whether he's crying, laughing, sulking, joking or anything, he always looks beautiful. One of the many things i envied him for.
"I don't think i can handle not having you around Charlotte. 7 months and 1 week is too much time to have spent away from you." He sniffled slightly, rubbing his reddened eyes with the palm of his hands before shuffling his hair from his face. I smiled sadly, a way of silently agreeing with him. "For gods sake." He breathed a small laugh as he ran his hands over his face in frustration. "Its always me isn't it?" He asked rhetorically. I furrowed my eyebrows at him, not really knowing how to respond as i wasn't sure what he was talking about. "Leaving, i mean." He clarified but i only shook my head in response.
"Calum I was the one who told you to leave for 6 months." I continued to shake my head.
"You did." He stated simply.
"I'm sorry." I sighed as i began to mess with my fingers once again. He didn't reply, i only heard his footsteps getting closer to me. He sat on the edge of my bed, slipping of his shoes before shuffling around and crossing his legs so he was now facing me. He looked directly at me, so much so, i couldn't lift my gaze. As i stared down at my hands, - where i was now, subconsciously, fidgeting with my fingers - i saw Calum place his hands on top of mine. I released a tiny smile as i pulled my hands from underneath and placed them on top of his. I began playing with his, considerably larger, hands, i really don't know what it is about them, but he just has lovely hands.
"I gave you a reason." He mumbled after a few minutes of me messing with his hands. I snapped out of the daze that i had unintentionally put myself in, and looked up at him so that my eyes met with Calum's. "To make me leave." He continued, as he explained. I opened my mouth slightly to counter his statement but i only shut it again as i had nothing to say. He was right. I made him leave because he left me first.
"Cal.." I said wearily, feeling a bit unsure to whether i should ask him or not.
"Yes baby?" He replied as i dropped my gaze from his, and focused back onto my hands which were still nervously playing with his.
"Do you remember the date, Monday 8th September?" I asked. He paused for a moment, clearly debating whether it was an important date or not. I looked up at him and within seconds, a look of realisation hit him. He nodded sadly, physically showing that he wanted to forget that day just as much as i did.
"Of course." He replied blankly. I took a deep breath because i just wanted to get it over with and ask him. Which is exactly what i did.
"Why'd you leave?" I asked, but it came out more as a shaky breath. "You said, when you came back that you didn't want to stand and explain something that happened 7 months ago because i said i love you. But i want to know. I want to know why you left in the first place..." I felt myself growing slightly more confident with every word i said.
"Char, baby," he sighed. "That was almost a whole year ago." he pleaded but i shook my head and pushed his hands away from mine.
"Why do you always say that? Why can't you just tell me?" I snapped a little as i untangled my legs and stood up, walking to the other side of the room.
