Haunted

"Maybe I should have told him" - UNEDITED

Disclaimer: This chapter has not been edited from the original as posted on JBFF. There will be mistakes, typos, continuity problems and other issues.

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Brent held Emma to his chest, rubbing her back while he waited for her to fall asleep again. It wouldn't take much to get her to stop fussing. These kinds of problems he could handle.

"Mom, stop crying, I'm okay," Wes pleaded.

Even from across the room Brent could hear Kylie was hysterical. He looked at Maddox. Dax met his eyes and shook his head. He was worried too.

He hadn't been there when Wesley was born. It was during one of his and Maddox's breaks. But even if Brent hadn't known Wes from day one he'd still watched him grow up. And he'd seen him change, just like they all had, from a sweet happy kid into an angry, almost volatile teenager.

Wes put the phone down and turned to look at them. He looked terrified, like he expected them to yell. His eyes darted back and forth at their faces and finally settled on the ground.

"You got out of the car?" Maddox asked. He wasn't accusing.

"I didn't mean to," Wes said.

"I know," Maddox said.

"I couldn't stay there. I had to get out," Wes shook his head, eyes still glued to the floor.

"Did something happen?" Brent asked.

"No, just," Wes looked up. "I don't know why I came here. It was a mistake," he stood up.

"It wasn't," Maddox said. "Wes, just talk to us. We'll listen to anything you have to say. If you don't want us to say anything back we won't. But it's time to let it out."

Wes stood there for a few minutes, blinking and looking at them. Then he sat down. Maddox sat next to him leaving the armchair for Brent. When Brent sat down Maddox was already leaning over to help him get the pillows right so he could hold Emma comfortably.

"I'm not in the way, or anything, am I?" Wes asked. "If she needs all your attention I'll just go."

"She's asleep," Maddox said. "You're not in anyone's way."

"I thought that, but you're still holding her, I wasn't sure," Wes said.

"It's not easy to let go of them at first," Brent admitted. "We'd probably still let all of them sleep on us if that wasn't kind of ridiculous."

"Speak for yourself," Maddox snorted.

"I would," Brent shrugged. "But no, you're not in the way. Talk to us."

"I don't know what to say," Wes shook his head. "I'm just really tired."

"That's the oldest lie out there," Maddox said.

"No, I mean it," Wes said. "I'm tired of not knowing who I am or how to be. Trying to keep everyone happy but never being quite good enough. I can't do it anymore. And I'm so tired of not understanding what's going on, I just want-" he stopped suddenly. "Yeah. That's it."

"Alright," Maddox nodded.

Brent prayed Maddox would know what to say. Wes hadn't really explained anything, though it was obvious he was frustrated and hurt. It didn't seem like asking him outright was a good choice.

"I feel like I've just been pretending for so long I don't know how to be myself anymore," Wes said. "I try, and sometimes I think I've got it, but then it all falls apart on me."