Back to the start / Trilogy

Can't let it go | I'm sorry

Mike POV

I stared blankly off into space as Mr.Clarke was talking about Y/N and her death, the class was silent.

"After this period, we'll have an assembly talking about Y/N. After school we'll be gathering by the field and lighting up candles for her. A moment of silence for Y/N." Mr. Clarke spoke. I flared my nostrils and felt as tears came streaming down, I turned my head slowly to my left and looked at the empty desk next to me...

She should've been here...
I just got her back. And she was taken from me abruptly.
She collapsed because of heart failure. Mom said her body didn't pump enough blood to her right side of her heart, which cause sudden death.

I blinked and felt my tears. I stood up and needed air. The whole class watched as I left the room, with each step I ran out of the hall way and left the building.

My breathing intensified as I reached outside. Everywhere I looked gave me memories of her... I held my hand over my mouth and kept freaking out. I gripped onto my hair violently and leaned back onto the brick wall frustrated.

"You promised me." I mumbled coughing on my tears. My lips smacked together and I decided to leave school...I ran to the bike rack.

-
I biked as fast as I could to Y/N's house. I knew where the hidden house key was so I entered and ran up stairs to her room.

As the door to her room swung open I stood there and examined everything, it was the way she left it lastly. I cried out loud and stepped towards her bed, I gripped onto her pillow and held it close to me.

"Why? Why did you leave me?" I yelled over and over. I wanted to punch so many things, I got frustrated myself and fell to the floor...

My nose sniffled and my breathing calmed down a little, I examined her diary on the floor next to the photo album of me and her.

Reaching for her diary I looked through the pages. My eyes scanned over her writing.

Day 06

-I hung out with the group today! Bill made some weird lunch today after the quarry, he thinks he's a chef, I say differ.
-Also, I've been getting sore muscles lately, my head hurts and my chest feels like there's some weight.

Day 17

-Mike wanted to move on. I didn't want him too, I wasn't ready for him too. I heard him crying as we cuddled, I made sure to hold onto him tightly as we cuddled. He will always be my best friend, he'll always be my everything.
-Richie is ignoring me at the moment, He needs to know I love him.
- My chest and head hurts. I think it's related to my seizures.

I skipped more pages. Finally I reached Day 72, it had the recent date.... the date written on the page was the day she died. This was the last thing she wrote.

Day 72  

-Mom made breakfast this morning but I'm not feeling well. We're suppose to go out today but, I don't think I can do it. My condition has developed even more, I looked into it and even with the help of doctors, they couldn't save me. My heart was failing completely, my white blood cells were getting weaker. I don't want to worry anyone, if I die today then I die. I can't save myself this time. I'm sorry.
- I hope Mike forgives me for not telling him. I hope my group does ok without me, I'm sure they will. I'll miss so many people.

I clenched my jaw and gulped. My tears had landed on her diary.

She knew all this time... She knew she was sick and didn't get proper medical help..

I bit my lip and turned the page, I turned it back to Day 71...

Day 71

-I went to the arcade to see the group. God I missed them a lot. I missed Mike mainly. We walked around town holding hands, it felt like I was walking on air just being with him. His smile made me weak, everything about Mike will always mean something to me. I love him so much.
-Mike is my home.

The last sentence broke me down. She was my home too.

"Mike? What-What are you doing here? Come here sweetheart." Y/N's Mom spoke as she stood by the door. I stood up and ran into her arms, I felt as she comforted me.

"Shh it'll be okay." She assured me.

-How was this?