The Life Of A Teenage Half-Vampire

The Life Of A Teenage Half-Vampire Part 21

Chapter Eighteen... The Flaw In Imprinting

I had confirmed to my father that I didn't want Jacob anywhere near me tonight. He told me that Carlisle had taken him to Rachel's, and demanded he come nowhere near me or anyone else in my family. My emotions had been seriously shaken up... how could the man I love suddenly, after all this time, confess he'd never falled out of love with my mother? And worse... howe could he try and kiss her?! She was married. Happily married. And so was he... or at least I thought he was. I was, after all. And the arrival of our daughter Isabelle made it even better.

Mom and dad were worried about me being left all alone tonight. They both decided that comforting me through the night was best. I spent the better part of the night between them, crying hysterically. When Isabelle woke up around 10pm, mom went and fed her for me. She gently rocked her back to sleep, whilst I myself drifted off to sleep after exhausting myself from crying.

My dreams that night were full of terror. Pure hatred filled me.

In my dream Jacob came to the cottage, against the advice of Carlisle. He demanded to see my mother, and she reluctantly went outside to talk to him. He tried once again to kiss her, only this time I walked outside. Mom threw a punch in his face again, breaking his nose and jaw. I decided that wasn't enough, so I leapt on him and snapped his neck. Isabelle could be heard screaming in the background, whilst my father stood back, letting mom and I have him. Blood spilled... And I awoke with a scream.

"Ness?" mom asked worriedly, hugging me. I looked up to see that dad held Isabelle, who was looking at me, concerned. Even she knew something was wrong, and she wasn't even twenty-four hours old.

"I had a dream," I gasped. "Mom... we killed Jacob. He came back for you."

"Oh..." mom sighed.

"I remember when you first found out that Jacob had imprinted on me," I said, thinking back to some of my first memories. "You lunged at him... angry. You were so mad... It took you a while to wrap your head around it. Now I think back and find that this whole imprinting thing is a load of crap. It's supposed to make you forget about any loves you already have... it's not supposed to just suppress them until you're ready to show them."

"I was talking to Carlisle," dad spoke up. "He believes that there is a flaw in imprinting. If you truly love someone else... then it can be undone."

"Yeah, and once upon a time, we didn't think that a wolf could imprint twice, either," mom sighed.

"So... Jacob's imprint on me was just... for fun?" I asked candidly.

"Not quite," dad explained. "He loves you... and he imprinted on you because of that. But he loves... your mother... more. And his love for you wasn't enough to overpower that. Imprinting is supposed to be choosing your strongest love, but instead it's becoming about choosing the most convenient love instead. Until... the chance to be with your strongest love comes along."

I could feel tears welling again. I tried to fight them off.

"So then Rachel left Paul because the man who was her strongest love came along?" I asked, trying to understand it myself. "And... and Quil met Mira, and imprinted on her, making the imprint on Clare totally irrelevant because he was better matched with Mira?"

"Yes," dad said through his teeth. I could tell that he was probably thinking that ripping Jacob's head off would solve some problems.

"Jacob... he loves mom," I tried to understand. "But... he imprinted on me because... because I was like her? And... he didn't feel he loved me enough, and his love for her grew stronger over the years rather than... weaker?"

"I know," dad said as mom wrapped her arms around me. Tears were rolling down my cheeks now, and my face was going red.

"It sucks," I cried. Dad moved in toward me, and I felt a tiny hand on my arm. I looked up to see Isabelle looking innocently at me, her face saddened. I took her in my arms, and cuddled her into me. She gave me a little smile, and I felt like it would be just us.

My mind was racing. I wondered how the other imprints were going. Mine had hit epic fail. And I now understood how Clare felt when Quil left her unexpectedly. But Jacob had been acting weird ever since we got married... before Isabelle... actually, he'd been odd since we got engaged. And now I understood. I knew only pieces of the past about Jacob and mom, and I know that he loved her a great deal more than she loved him. But she never left my father... never stopped loving him. And she was determined to become a vampire to live eternally with him.

So why now? Why would Jacob dig up his past feelings for my mom now, after eighteen years since my parents got married... almost eighteen years since I was born, since he imprinted on me?

I now believed the imprinting was just... useless. Unless you truly love someone, you can't be with them, even if some sort of wolf voodoo-type binding leads you to love them. Who's to say that you can't find someone else? The history books left that part out.

I handed Isabelle to mom. She kissed her forehead. I had decided that I needed to see Clare, to talk to her. We always understood each other, no matter what. She would understand this.

"Mom... dad..." I began. "I'm gonna go talk to Clare. Show her Isabelle. She hasn't seen her yet."

"Okay, Ness," dad said, smiling. "You want me to install the car seat in your Beetle?"

I realised I hadn't done that yet.

"Oh! Yeah, please," I smiled slightly. Dad was always so helpful.

"Hold on," mom said mindlessly. "Clare lives in La Push... and Jacob's there."

"And if I see him," I snarled. "I'll kill him."

Dad's head snapped up.

"Renesmee, maybe you should ask Clare to come here," he sighed. "We don't want you to do something you'll regret."

"Okay," I agreed.

I quickly rang Clare, begging her to come visit me. Dad installed the car seat in my car anyway, ready for when I needed it. Mom decided to play chef, and she cooked up a feast of bacon and eggs. I couldn't stomach eggs again, I learnt. Apparently, only when I was pregnant.

I heard a car pull up outside; I had given Clare directions to my cottage from my parents' cottage. Clare walked in, noticing the seriousness on my face. She looked worried.

"What's up, Nessie?" she asked. "Where's the baby?"

I noticed that Clare had left Tyler behind, most likely with Quil.

"We need to talk," I said seriously. "It's about Jacob."