A Book of Words That Never Seem To Be Enough

What it Means to Fall

If you're reading this,
good.
Hiding behind my words
is something that I am phenomenal at

but this time
I no longer hide.

This time I do not create hills and piles
of words
that then grow into
mountains
that give me a barrier.

These are the words
that are being built as a bridge

like steps to heaven
they are heavy
at the beginning but
become lighter as I

reach my ending
destination.
The sky welcomes me
with a smile,

congratulating me on
finally using every
ounce of power
I have circling
in my veins
to finally look up.

It is nirvana,
a feeling that begins
in my gut
and follows its path
to my fingertips
shaking and humming
to hold a worn down

pencil,
already aching at how fast
I'll write.

These words fight to
break down past ones

that have built a
cage,
I am freeing myself.

my body no longer
hurts
like a man who
constantly finds himself
tripping over his drunken
words.

I'm painting myself a picture,
where I stand at the edge of the

world

I stand only a mere inch away
from the end of the cliff
and look down

but I don't just stay looking down
I can finally look up too.

my pencil lightly touches
my arms

and creates my wings

I have always wanted to fly
Haven't you?

I close my eyes as my sketches
come to life.

my wings are so much
bigger than I am
yet they do not overpower me.

I spread my arms out
feeling the laughter and
cries of the wind.

It leaves imprints of words
that were said before me,
inviting me.
The air is warm,
no matter how strong the
wind gets.

I am buzzing with heat,
electricity connecting me to
each and every fiber of life

I don't need to keep my
eyes open.
but everything is so much

more beautiful when I do.

It's strange and empowering
to feel this and see all
of what I describe

while sitting in my room,
nowhere near the end of
the world.
but I can still feel myself
tipping over,
letting the wind capture and carry
my burning body

and just fall.

To feel my hair cage the wind
in its own brown strands and tangle itself
so harshly that it hurts.

To fall so quickly that
the scream of joy that
rips out of my chest

is silenced
with the
force that pushes against me.

I

fall

until

I fly

my wings filled with words that
others knew how to say
to get me to listen.

and so
I listen,
and listen,
and listen,
and listen,
and listen,

closing my eyes and letting myself fall
into the wondrous melody
of a mind that cannot be silenced.
my fingers brushing against clouds
created by me for the world

to see.

so look up
and fall into my beauty,

I promise it's worth it all.