I Hate You (Larry Stylinson) ✅

13. screw it

Feb 21 (cont)
Harry's POV

After racing around the city for what feels like hours, I suddenly remember Louis' address and start to head to his house. I know I shouldn't be going over there. I know I shouldn't. Every fiber of my being is telling me it's a bad idea.

But I can't control myself.

My head is spinning by the time I take the A train downtown and enter Louis' apartment. Luckily, the doorman isn't there, so I head upstairs without an issue.

Hands shaking, I knock on his door. Am I really doing this? I wonder. I guess I am...

No one answers, so I knock again, this time louder.

"Please open up!" I shout. "It's important."

I hear faint footsteps but still no one answers the door. I wait for a minute and then knock a third time.

This time, the door instantly swings open. "What the fuck do you want?" Louis cries.

I take a step back, and when we lock eyes, he glares at me.

"Oh god, it's you," Louis spits. "Please do me a favor and leave, Harold."

"I... Please can we just talk for five minutes," I say. I put my hands up defensively, unsure if he's going to hit me or not.

"Stop it, I'm not going to hit you," he says, rolling his eyes.

He steps out of the apartment now, and I can get a better look at him. He's wearing athletic shorts and a tank top, which reveal his bony legs and skeletal arms. The upper part of his arm is so thin that it's nearly the same width as his forearm, and I bite my tongue, looking down at the floor guiltily.

"I... okay, well, I just wanted to tell you, I'm sorry. About all of it. I should never have... well, honestly, I should just leave you alone at this point because I've said it a thousand times and you say there's nothing I can do to fix it... I just..." I begin.

Louis rolls his eyes, folding his arms across his chest. "Save it, Styles. I don't care what you have to say. I want nothing to do with you."

My face falls, but I know he's right. "I understand, I should go.... but I just want to tell you one thing...."

"You have so many things to tell me," he groans, rolling his eyes again. His voice sounds a bit hoarse, like he's been shouting.... or throwing up...

"I think you're really attractive and smart and talented and funny. Regardless of the words that came out of my mouth, my initial thought when I first saw you was: wow, that man is gorgeous," I blurt out. "I thought you were stunning. Your blue eyes, your perfectly styled hair, your jawline and stubble. Your muscles, your curves."

Louis is staring at me, his eyes unblinking. I wonder if he's going to say something, but he just continues to stare, and then eventually bursts out laughing.

I feel my face grow red, but I continue. He might not believe me, but he needs to know these things. He needs to.

"I know you think I'm a liar, but if you.. I don't know if you just listen and watch my face, maybe you'll see that I'm not... And you weren't just hot to me, you were smart and talented. Liam gave me your name before we got there and I looked up your writing. It's incredible. You have such a humorous, snarky voice... and I just,  I don't know, Louis. I wanted you. I still want you..."

I take a step closer to Louis. My heart is racing and all I want to do right now is touch him. I make eye contact with him, trying to read his features. He's stopped laughing now, and looks up with me with his blue eyes, cocking his head to the side.