I Hate You (Larry Stylinson) ✅

33. football

A/n: First off A HUGE THANK YOU to every single person who has been reading this story! 4K reads? That's the most I've ever gotten! So thank you thank you thank you. Words can't describe how much I appreciate each and everyone one of you :D 

Second off I hope you guys are enjoying the story. Parts of the story are a bit dark, but I promise I am going to try to make a happy ending :) this story really hits home and is based on some real life experiences that I've had (particularly Louis' experiences) so I am hoping I'm portraying everything appropriately. Louis is in recovery right now, but sadly, you don't get better overnight and there's a lot of ups and downs. Sort of like a roller coaster, but I am trying to get him to a stable place where he is feeling better. It's just gonna take some time. 

Third off DID ANYONE SEE THE PICS OF HARRYS BALLSACK in the grey onesie because I am just about dead

Okay. Enough stalling. Time for the story:

Louis POV

June 30

"Hey!" I say excitedly, grabbing Niall's shoulder as he enters the coffee shop.

"Hey, mate. Good to see ya," Niall replied, pulling me into a hug.

It's been ages since Niall and I hung out one on one, so it's nice to finally have this private time. I always felt a bit closer with Niall than I did with Liam, but since I've been sick, I've been pretty closed off to both of them. I'm trying to change that - slowly.

Niall and I line up and place our coffee orders at the register. He gets an iced coffee and I get an iced latee. I feel kind of bad knowing how unhealthy a latee can be - it's usually made with whole milk- so I ask for almond milk.

At this point in my recovery, I'm supposed to be flexible with foods, adventurous even. I only have to see the doctors once every three weeks now, since I'm physically stable and cleared to work out. But if I'm being honest with myself, I'm nothing less than a hot mess.

It all started when I got the go ahead two weeks ago to play sports again. I went to football practice with Niall and Liam, bright and early, excited to finally get back out there. The warmup was a mile jog, and to my absolute disgust, I could hardly finish half of it.

I just remember stopping to take a break while my teammates ran past me, effortlessly galloping to the end of the track.

"You are so fat and out of shape!"

"Disgusting"

"Absolutely disgraceful, you pig!"

The voice rang in my ears and I held back tears. How could I have let myself go this much?

Mortified, I ended up staying after practice long after my teammates went home. To makeup for my horrible performance, I forced myself to run as much as I could. I didn't stop until I was on my knees throwing up on the pavement. Then I got up and ran some more. 

I continued to do this practice after practice, terrified of falling behind my teammates again. I made sure to keep it a secret from Niall and Liam, though, because if they found out, I wouldn't hear the end of it. I ended up walking to my car and driving around the block after practice, pretending I was going home and then returning a little while later. 

Things have only gotten worse since then. I've been sucking at practice every day, and to punish myself, I just keep eating less. I used to be the star of the fucking team, but now I'm fat, slow and lazy. Even my kicks are not what they used to be.

Despite my internal torment, however, I always make sure to put on a happy face - especially for Harry. He's such a lovely boyfriend. He's so caring and gentle and always knows the right things to say to make me feel better. During the day I moved in at the start of the month, for example, I had a freakout over lunch.