I Hate You (Larry Stylinson) ✅

45. crisis

a/n: sorry for the delay in updating. I was at a week long job training. back now! hopefully this chapter was worth the wait. lots of drama and cleaning up unfinished business. i hope you enjoy :) 

November 1st

Harry's POV 

I'm in the hospital right now. An no, I'm not here for myself. I wish I was. Trust me, I really fucking wish I was. Instead, I'm here for James. 

And let me tell you, it's fucking killing me. 

There's nothing worse than having to wait outside the hospital room while your child is getting a procedure done. If it was up to me, I would be in the hospital room the entire fucking time, holding his hand. But I can't be, and so I'm sitting here, feeling helpless and anxious, and trying not to tear my hair out as a wait. 

It all started last night, when I heard James wheezing. He had a cough for the past week, but I took him to the doctor and he prescribed him medicine. After a week on it, he seemed to be getting better. But last night, his cough worsened, and I called the hospital. 

They told me he was probably fine and to monitor him and bring him in the next morning. So I stayed on the couch next to his crib, waiting to see if he improved. When I heard him making choking sounds about an hour later, I dialled 911 right away. Because that didn't seem fucking normal at all. 

Paramedics arrived to my flat and put him on oxygen. I stood there like a fucking deer in headlights while they carried him into the ambulance. I didn't even lock the door behind me, I just slammed it and ran after them. 

I can't even remember the ambulance ride here. I just remember them taking him into a white room and closing the door, telling me not to come inside, that they had to do an emergency procedure. 

"He'll be okay," a nurse with a clipboard told me as I peered through the glass window. The blinds were up but I could vaguely see them hooking up a ventilator, and I nearly fainted at the sight. Just a few hours ago, he was fine, playing with his toys and watching Dora the Explorer. Now, he was in the emergency room - and so was I.

"Oh my god, Harry, is he okay?" 

I hear Eliza's voice and look up to see her rushing towards me, clad in a red ballroom gown with a full face of makeup. She must have come straight from a photoshoot. 

"I think so. It was his lungs. He's getting emergency surgery," I reply. My voice sounds rough, broken almost. 

As Eliza heads towards me, I stand up to face her, wondering to myself whether or not it was a good idea to tell her about this in the first place. As his mother, she has every right to know he was sick, and it would have been wrong to keep this from her. But if I'm being honest with myself, part of me only told her was because I didn't want to be alone at the hospital. 

"Oh my god," she says, taking a seat next to me. "Oh my god, I can't believe this."

Within seconds, she begins to sob, her making smearing everywhere as she cries softly into her hands. I extend my arms and give her a hug, allowing her to cry onto my shoulder. 

"I know," I say. "I'm so worried. I can't stop worrying."

"Did they say what he has at least?" she breathes. She buries herself deeper onto my chest and feel my breath start to hitch. It's been so long since we've touched at all, let alone been this close to each other. 

"It's inflammation in his lungs. Lead to an abscess, they're going to remove it," I explain. It sounds so awful just to say out loud. I can't even imagine what he's going through.