I Hate You (Larry Stylinson) ✅

44. breakthrough

October 13

Harry's POV

I can't stop crying today.

Not that it's anything new. I've been crying almost every day since Louis dumped me. But today is different. I can't sit up straight. I can't even think about getting out of bed. Every time I try, I collapse back down in a heaping mess of tears and whimpers.

I can't go to work.

Groaning, I crane my neck and spot my phone on the bedside table. I grab it, and between tears, text Liam.

"Not coming in today, not feeling well. Sorry."

He knows why I can't go in. He knows the truth. He's always known the truth, hasn't he? Because Louis told him the truth and not me. He was in on this. So was Niall.

They were all out to get me.

As I cry into my pillow, I try to understand how the very people I thought I could trust could betray me so badly. This is the kind of behavior I would expect from Eliza. Not from my boyfriend and my two best friends.

And I guess you could argue that they were doing it to help me. That their hearts were in the right place. That they wanted to help me maintain custody of James.

But honestly, that doesn't make things any better. It makes them a million times worse. Because intentions aside, they still lied to me. They still took matters into their own hands when it came to MY life, MY child.

And how the fuck can I forgive them for that?

I honestly felt better yesterday when I thought Louis had dumped me for real. I was finally starting to get over it. I still loved him, I was still hurting, but I wasn't as bad as I was two months ago.

Now, as I lie here sobbing, it feels like Louis just dumped me for a second time, and my heart can't take it. Neither can my head

When I hear James cry in the other room, though, I realize I can't lie here all day. Even if I'm taking the day off, I have a job to do. And that's to take care of him - no matter how bad I feel.

Wincing, I lift my body off the bed and go to the kitchen to warm a bottle. Then, I enter his room and pick him up, cradling him in my arms.

"Good morning," I coo, giving him the bottle. James makes an incoherent noise and sucks away at the nipple of the bottle. He closes his eyes as he drinks, and all I can focus on is how precious he is. How innocent, how pure.

He might look just like Eliza, with his blue eyes and blonde hair, but that doesn't even bother me. He's my son too. And I love him more than anything in the world.

As I rock him back and forth, my mind wanders and I start to think about Louis again. He was the one who taught me how to rock James like this. How to warm up bottles, how to change diapers. How to bathe him.

Louis taught me everything I know about babies. Fuck, Louis used to take better care of James than I ever could.

Eventually, James finishes the bottle, and I think back to a time not too long ago when Louis told me he wanted to help out with James all the time.

"No, Harry. I don't mind helping one bit. And that's a great idea, I mean yeah, I don't know what the future holds, but if we did end up together, of course I would help out with James all the time," he had said as we changed James together.

Well I know what the future holds now. And we definitely don't end up together.

But maybe we still can.....