Drowning In Love And Sorrows - New Chapters!

The Taxidermy Of Me And You

GERARD POV

I wake up in a cold sweat. I turn over to see that there's no one beside me. I sit up panicked.
"Jalyn?" I look around only to remember what had happened. I get out of bed and get on some old jeans and a red and black shirt. I grab a jacket, brush my teeth, and put on eyeliner. I walk past Mikey's room and see that he's not out of bed.
"Hey. You're normally gone by now. Why are you still here?" I asked stopping in he doorway.
"I can't go today. I really just can't. Sorry big brother" he looked over at me. He looked lifeless. Like how Jake did lying on his floor.
"Okay. I'll check on you at lunch. Maybe we can talk. I can skip my class after lunch if you want. Mikey we really gotta talk about this one" he rolled and pulled his covers over himself.
"Okay. I'll talk to you later" he said it quickly, and I walked down stairs and unlocked Mouse's dog door and refilled his bowls."
"Bye Mouse...." he was laying in the middle of the floor. He looked sad.
"Please don't mope around. I don't know when your mom is coming back. I don't know if Jalyn is coming home at all. I'll take you for a walk later" I said sympathetically as I walked out the door and locked it behind me.

As I pulled up to school I looked beside my car to see Hannah's car. Jalyn's jacket was laying in the back seat. I looked in the rear view mirror at myself. My eyeliner was crooked and smudged. Jay would've fixed it. Stop it. You're mad at her right now. You don't know if it's true or not, but as of right now she cheated on you. Stop loving her. Just stop. I argued with myself as I walked towards the commons. Sure enough they were all there. Hannah and Kaitlyn looked at me like I'd killed someone, and by the way Jalyn looked, I had killed someone. Her eyes were puffy and red and her shirt was wet around her neck. Her eyes read 'help me', but her stance read 'fuck off'. I walked towards Frank who had his arm around Hannah.
"Hey guys" Brendon said as he walked over to Kaitlyn.
"Heyy, come over here" Kaitlyn said leading him a few feet away from us. Jalyn followed him. Hannah gave Frank a 'duty calls' look and walked off behind her. A few moments of awkward silence later and we were off to our classes.

I sat down in my AP English and took out some paper. The warm up was to draw a picture of your perfect world. I got a little carried away and drew houses and roads and businesses. I made sure to include the details, like who lived in the houses and their jobs. I put Frank, Ray, Mikey, and I as neighbors. I put the girls as neighbors on the opposite side of our street. I included record stores and guitar centers all over the town. I drew in a drive in theater with a Hot Topic next door. I kept drawing and adding little details until Mr. Weaver walked by and said my name as he crouched next to my desk.
"Mr. Way. What are you doing?" He asked.
"Oh, um... I got a little carried away with the drawing I guess" I said looking up at him and flipping my hair out of my face.
"Well you have quite the town... do you mind?" He asked as he stared to pick up my drawing. He walked towards the projector and put my drawing under the screen. I put my hand over my face embarrassed. I forgot that Caroline was in this class, and I had placed her on the other side of the town in a run down house.
"Feelin' the love Gee... feelin' the love" she said looking over to me. I put my hood over my head, smiled and closed my eyes.
"My bad I guess" I said as Mr. Weaver handed me back my paper. I sat throughout the rest of the class and wrote thesis after thesis until Mr. Weaver said it was acceptable for a paper. After we were dismissed I went to my biomedical research class. As I walked through the door and sat down my books, I put on the apron and goggles we're required to wear and sat down next to my lab partner. I sat through the class with my headphones in, doodling cartoon characters on my answer sheet as my partner did the work. I every once in a while looked over and got answers. Me my partner, Jackson, had a deal. I give him help in math, and he helps me in biomed. It's a fair deal.

I walked towards the doors of the school so I could go see Mikey. Suddenly I was stopped by a boy in a Diamond brand sweatshirt, black jeans, and checkered vans.
"Hey. I'm Nick. You're brother's friend. Do you know why he's not here today?" I looked up at him and scanned him. He looked nice enough.
"He wasn't feeling well. I think he'll be here tomorrow though" I said.
"Mother nutter dude. Okay... thanks, tell him I said feel better" he said walking back towards the cafeteria.
"Sure thing" I said waving at him. I got in my car and looked in the mirror. Looked at my eyeliner. A wave of sheer anger ran over me and I wiped it off. I pulled my hood over my faded red hair and put the car in drive. I gripped the wheel hard and drove home. I'm getting to the bottom of this now.

I walked through the door and said hi to Mouse. I walked upstairs to Mikey's room and sat on his bed where he was still curled under the sheets.
"Can we talk about this?" I said handing him the water bottle that was sitting next to his bed. He sat up and sipped the water.
"Absolutely" he said looking back at me.
"Tell me the whole story" I said staring at him.

He talked about how the girl handed her an oxy pill, and how he wasn't going to take it until he just threw it in his mouth in the heat of the moment. He told me about how he went to Jalyn for help, but he ended up throwing a fit and pinning her to the wall, how he wanted it to die every moment he was under the influence of a drug he had no control of. He said over and over again how sorry he was he took the pill, and that he'd never even think about doing it again. How he was so sorry for hitting Jalyn and so sorry for messing with our relationship. He began to cry, He wasn't spiteful, or angry... he was sorry. I grabbed him into a hug and just sat with him.
"It's okay. It's not your fault, I know, it's okay." I sat with him for an hour. This is my little brother. He went through a moment where he thought he needed to be on something to be cool, or to be himself, and I wasn't there to protect him of stop him.
"Your just so cool, and you're the big brother who has the girl friend and sings in a band with his best friends... and I'm just the little brother. I thought that if I took the pill, that I might add up to you. Even just for an hour" I pulled away from him and looked into his red eyes.
"You're the cool little brother. You don't give two shits what someone else thinks. You play your video games all the time and say crazy stuff that makes no sense, but is still hilarious. You play guitar like you were born to do it. You play guitar in a band with your best friend and your big brother is one of your best friends. I'm not better than you in any way. You have to understand that" I said looking at him. I almost started to cry. We sat for a long time, just talking about everything.

When I got back to school I only had one class period left. I had AP Science. On my way to class I saw Jalyn. She could barely look me in the eyes. Her face was puffed up like she was sick and her headphones were buried in her ears. I grabbed her arm as she walked by. She stopped and turned off her music. I pulled my hood off my head and looked at her eyes.
"Have you been crying??" I said worried.
"Wow jumping right to the good questions aren't we?... yea I've been crying, what do you think I'm doing, partying?" She said sarcastically. I miss the sarcasm.
"Listen. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I just went home and talked to Mikey and he's sorry too. I know what happened now. We're not done but, I need to detox."
I said sweetly. I grabbed her hand and held it as I stood in front of her.
"God Gerard... I understand, and I'm detoxing too. It's good to know you don't hate me, but you told me I didn't love you anymore. You told me you needed me to leave. It hurt Gee, and I know you were in a really confusing situation, but you chose to trust no one. I don't want to be done. But I want space." She said. She looked at me the way only she could. She looked through me. She let go of my hand and walked towards her class. I know she's thinking about her own mental health right now... but I'm falling apart.

I went home after school and drank. I drank beer after beer with Frank sitting next to me. He kept saying I should stop. That Jalyn was coming back soon. But in the moment I didn't feel like it. I could barely walk straight I was so drunk. Frank stayed on the couch with me. He stayed there, even after I vomited into the trash can and after I fell asleep. He just stayed.

Hey! I'll be publishing again, hopefully soon. It's my last week of school so I'll have a lot more time on my hands to write for you. Love you Killjoys🖤🕷