Drowning In Love And Sorrows - New Chapters!

Wide Open

JALYN'S POV

It's been a while since that 'crazy night' we had and we're all on tour with Gee's band. Jake couldn't come, but the company that was sponsoring the 'The Black Parade Is Dead' tour was nice enough to pay for two busses if we paid food expenses. Me and Gerard kicked everyone off of the guys bus to ride with Hannah and Kaitlyn when we got 'bored'. The tour has been crazy and brought us all together as a group so much. It was a much needed getaway.
"Hey do you know where my black jacket is... I just had it" Frankie said spinning around, his hands in his hair.
"The leather one?" Ray said running to his bunk.
"No my parade one" Frank said whiney.
"Oh you gave it to Hannah. She's wearing it right now... you guys have been spending tons of time together lately" Mikey said putting a hand on Frank's shoulder.
"Yeah, well" Frank said smiling
"Back off my wife" I said walking out of the bathroom where I was putting on Gerard's makeup for him.
"Wife? what about me?" Gerard winced.
"Awe it's okay" I said kissing Gee.

After everything was set we walked off the bus single file and walked into the venue. We talked over the fans lined up outside and the boys signed autograph after autograph on the way to the door.

Once we were inside we were eyes wide open. In awe. This was the biggest venue they've played ever.
"We did it boys... we made it" Mikey said running through the isle to the stage.
Everyone was smiling so big it was crazy. I dragged the girls into the faculties room and we ate some snacks while they tuned up and rehearsed.

"So Hannah. How's Frankie?" I said tugging on his jacket she was still wearing.
"Oh yea how 'bout that? I think it's cute" Kaitlyn said sitting next to me.
"Well. We may have had a little bit of a moment at the last show in Seattle. I walked into his dressing room after the show with a towel and some electrolytes that that EMT gave me and... he didn't have a shirt on.... or pants... just underwear." She said. Her pale face turned bright red.
"OH MY GOD... you had sex??" Kaitlyn said surprised.
"OMG NO! Kaitlyn I'm no hoe. We had a 7th grade make-out session. Nothing else happened. I swear." Hannah said. I'm so happy for her!!
"Awe. I've known him my whole life and he'd never do that unless he really liked you. Do you like him??" I asked.
"Of course I like him. Both body and personality wise" Hannah said biting her lip.
"Well I'm happy for you Hannah" Kaitlyn said getting up.

We walked to left wing backstage and did our high five line we do where we walked back and forth in an oval shape and high five all of the staff for good luck. I kissed Gerard goodbye and we all hugged. Gerard put a hospital gown over top of his uniform and laid out on a hospital gurney to be wheeled out. Me and the rest of the girls rocked out back stage and rolled around on office chairs.
"Bet you I can beat you in a competition of being dizzy by office chair" Kaitlyn said rolling over to me as Hannah grabbed a water bottle from the cooler.
"Oh easy as pie, pumpkin pie mother fucker" I said starting to spin around.
"Alright let's go" she said spinning next to me.
We spun for a full minute and when we stood up we immediately collapsed. I hobbled to the trash can and vomited into it.
"Holy fuck... I win..." I said standing up and pumping my fist in the air.

After gathering myself together I walked over to side stage. It was the very last song of the show. 'You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison'. It's Gerard and Frank's favorite song to play. It means a lot to them. They were all jumping around when Gerard stopped singing Ray's guitar solo. So did Frankie. I looked to Gerard, but he was looking at Frank. Their eyes were locked onto each other, their faces straight. Mine however had lost its color. It was as if I hadn't taken my anxiety medicine. My head was hot, my legs were shaking. I knew that look. That was the look of uncertainty but absolute love. Frank started toward him and Gerard did the same after he looked out at the crowd and back to him. Frank spun his guitar to his back and put his arm around Gerard as Gee put his hands in his hair and kissed him. Hard. Passionately.

I ran to the bathroom sobbing silently but obviously. Hannah stayed in shock. Her mouth open and her eyes swelling with tears. I looked in the mirror and I hated what I saw. My pale face was sheet white and my eyes were gray and sad. The world was quiet. I could hear nothing. I got scared. I can't hear anything. Nothing. I turned the water on as hard as it would go, but I heard nothing. I banged on the doors and walls, but I heard nothing. Am I deaf. I thought to myself. I screamed as loud as I could and only heard a wince. Kaitlyn came running in and sat on the floor next to me. Her lips were moving, but I heard nothing. I looked at her and just stared off in front of me. Silent. So silent. Suffocating silence. It was lonely and cold and sad. And terrifying.

I got up, Kaitlyn was still talking, but I still couldn't hear. I walked past her, I walked past everything. Gerard was walking off stage and tried to catch my arm but I just walked. So fast. I felt empty, emotionless and lonely. I stood outside and talked to myself. There's no way I could go deaf just like that. In a split second of terror I had gone deaf.

Mikey walked out behind me. He startled me when he touched me, because I didn't hear him coming behind me. He started to talk, fast.
"I can't hear you" I said plainly. My face still expressionless.
"Shit" I read his lips. Fear was in his eyes and I felt the void behind mine.
He grabbed me and we walked back inside. Everything around me was chaotic, but I heard nothing.
"I want my head back" I said out loud. Mikey put his hand over my ear and pulled the other to his chest. We kept walking. Through the doors and into the main dressing room. Hannah sat on the couch leaned over with her hands over her eyes. She was thinking hard. Kaitlyn sat next to her stroking her back. It was like I was watching a silent movie.
"Help, oh god please help" I said aloud. Still looking straight. Mikey came and sat next to me. He laid me down onto his shoulder and moved his hand up and down my arm to comfort me. It wasn't working, although I appreciated the effort. I fell asleep there. How could you not. No sound at all just nothing.

I woke up with Ray looking over me.
"Hey... can you hear me, Jay?" He asked, and I heard him. I nodded yes to him and squinted my eyes.
"Oh thank god. I'm so sorry" he said scooping me into a hug. As I stood up I walked over to Hannah who was still sitting on the couch staring into space. I grabbed her arm and pulled her onto her feet. I looked into her swollen bloodshot brown eyes. I saw the same gray pain I'd seen when I looked in the mirror hours ago. I grabbed her into a hug.
"I love you" I whispered to her. I grabbed Kaitlyn into the hug.
"Awe how sweet. I love you guys too" Kaitlyn said trying to lighten the mood. Hannah stood still with her arms around me.
"I know. I love you guys" she said back. Gerard walked into the room with Frank behind him. Tears rolled down Frank's face. Disgust rolled over mine. Gerard said nothing he just grabbed my arm and pulled me outside of the venue and to the bus.

Hi Killjoys!! I'm SO SO SO sorry for how long I was gone, I'll try to post more regularly now. Thank you for being loyal and respectful during a long period of time. I hope this was long enough for you!🖤🕷