Back to life

Part 14 Therapy (Jordan)

Where did he find this as I picked up the piece of paper with my hand writing?. This is from my first therapy session. I couldn't say anything and was told to write it down all my feelings. Not that I couldn't talk, I just didn't want to. I thought it was a waste of time. This is supposed to be confidential. I wonder if Jon got this from my therapist, I couldn't wonder what else he got.

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Therapy session number 1

How did I come to block everything out months after the accident? I am not 100% sure. I thought even going to therapy is supposed to help. I guess I came back to the band before I was ready, wanting not to let people down by not being on the cruise. I only left the hospital about three weeks before the cruise. That's where the drinking started. The pain wouldn't go away and the only way was to numb it. It also kept me going through all the dancing. I would sleep it all off until noon, nearly missing or missing morning parts. Then I would drink the night away just to keep up. My body was telling me to slow down and rest but my pride wouldn't allow it. As the drinking got more, the more intense the nightmares got. It got so bad it started to affect the band and my family. I started not to care about anything. I would be late for meetings and start to withdrawal from anything that involved the band as they affected my memories and nightmares. It got worse and worse. To the point the others started to get annoyed with me. They gave me an ultimatum. Sort myself the hell out or out of the band for good even they knew Jon would follow me. The band would suffer too as it wouldn't be the same with just the three of them. They had this worry in 2007 when they thought Jon might not come back. They thought if he wouldn't then I wouldn't either because of our problems. So here I am in therapy getting the help I need. I tell you now the old me is long gone. So here's to Jay ...........