Back to life

Part 30b therapy 3 arena

Arena
I can't do this because I know what the next step is. This is what I wanted to avoid at all costs if I can. But this is where we pay everything back to the fans.

I got dragged by the others to Mansfield as there is a concert there tonight. A friend of mine is performing there with his group. Their idea is while Nick and his band mates are doing their soundcheck. We go up on stage with them and I can be in an arena again. I am not looking forward to this. I don't mind meeting up with an old friend, Nick.

So here we at the arena. We are nowhere near the stage and Jon has disappeared as well. He didn't want to make my problems worse by being there with his own problems. Soon Nick came and found us at the back of the arena.

"Hey Jord".

"Hey Nick".

"How are you?. You alright now".

"Not really hence why we are here".

"Brian could chat with you as he had his own problems with his voice since 2009.
He could help you".

"I am ok. Honest".

"So why are you here then if you are fine".

"Cos It's just for the arena to see if I am scared and anxious before I go on tour again. I don't need help".

"That's what Brian used to say to when it first happened. He would call Kevin to talk to him but he wouldn't talk to us".

"That sounds about right about him too. He wont talk to us" said Jon coming up to us and pointing to me. "Stubborn".

It was time for their sound check so we gate crashed it and joined them up on stage. I looked out in front of me with the lights out you can't see much further back. When they went through their songs, I stood there feeling nervous and jittery. All I am doing this just standing there and I am sweating. I am not taking part or anything just standing there. Donnie stands next to me for comfort. He smiles at me but I only half smile back.

"Why don't we go through one of the routines with you lot here?" remarked one of them. I shook my head I didn't want too. There was a remark in back 'Just like his brother Jon a nervous wreck". I'll show them. I grabbed a mike and sang the beginning part of Don't turn out the lights not facing anyone or anything. The nerves calmed down a bit after that. Brian came over to me.

"Nick said you wanted to talk" he replied.

"Not really. He thought it would be good for me as you went through some problems yourself".

"Just a word of warning don't do this on your own. Let others in and they will help you. I tried to cover it up and carried on as normal. I didn't let them in to help me. I got depressed because my voice wasn't the same. I know how you feel Jordan. Any problems you can call me ok".

"Thanks Brian".

Nick came over to me "I can help too as I have had enough of my problems to dealt with". We left so they can get ready for the show. I do have friends that will help me only if I can get my head around it and swallow my pride to ask for help.