We had a small bit on the Today show so they tell me. Here I am standing backstage feeling very nervous. I try to wipe my sweaty palms so I can get a better grip on my microphone. Donnie looks over and gives me a warm smile. I try not to look at him and concentrate on breathing. Now it's time to go on stage, I take a deep breath and walk out. Jon watches me but doesn't say anything.
We went through all the questions and talk without a hitch. Mainly questions about getting back together after the accident we had and this was not helping with my anxiety.
Time now to sing out the end of the show. Donnie starts singing his lead part of Thankful. Then I sing the chorus with the others. Now my lead ........ I brought the microphone up to my lips and I freeze. I am like a deer in headlights nothing ..I mean nothing..... Jon puts his hand on my shoulder and Donnie wraps his arm around me. I start shaking ... they all sing it for me. I want the ground to swallow me up. I can't believe I did that and I want to run NOW. But Donnie's got a death grip on me. After it's over and they group hug me. Then I ran. It's all on TV me running off stage this time not Jon. He is the one watching me go instead of the other way around.
I hid in a corner, I slid down to the floor not caring about the smart clothes I was wearing. I wrapped my arms around my knees and buried my head in my lap trying to disappear into the ground. Jon found me followed by Donnie.
"Oh great you found me" I replied not looking up.
"Not hard to find you when I do exactly the same thing. I am the king of running away".
"I have never done that before. Sure I used to get nervous or forget lines but never freeze up and bolt".
"It's nothing to worry about" as he placed his hand on my shoulder. Then the tears start to fall. Look at me , how pathetic am I. I am 48 years old.
"I... am...so-sorry.... I ruined everything... maybe... I... am... not...ready...to... come.. back...maybe... you...should... do... this...without me so I wont ruin it all. Maybe I should just quit. I am never going to be the same" I sobbed.
"No, we won't do this without you" argued Donnie who sat in front of me "We will wait til you're ready, J".
"What the cruise in October?"
"You will be ready".
"What if I am not ready?"
"You will" replied Donnie with a smile. Jon helps me off the floor. Both of them are either side of me with an arm around me to guide me back to the others. Joe comes running out of nowhere colliding into me, giving me a hug and in the process nearly knocking me over. Danny gives a friendly slap on the back as Joey still hugging me.
"We are all here for you,J. No matter what. 5 brothers who care for each other. Who have a million sisters also who will look out for you too" replied Joe.
"Thanks Joe, it means alot". I repaid his hug. There is going to be a big problem if I Can't sort myself out.
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Back to life
Fanfiction(Completed) What happens when New Kids have a bus crash while on tour. Well it happened a year ago and one member isn't coping well with the aftermath of the accident. Jordan has now blocked out any memories of the crash including any memories of th...
