(Completed) What happens when New Kids have a bus crash while on tour. Well it happened a year ago and one member isn't coping well with the aftermath of the accident. Jordan has now blocked out any memories of the crash including any memories of th...
Part of my therapy is to deal with stuff that scares and that brings up bad memories and the nightmares. So today we are all going to the recording studio as it is the least of my worries I think. We walked into the room, it had everything from the booth where the vocals were recorded to the room full of instruments.
"J go into the engineers booth to start with. Sit in there with your therapist". I can't believe Phil had to come, I guess it was he idea to do this. I go in not before I joke to the others.
"If I have to go in here. Jon has to sing on his own in there" I said pointing to the booth. Jon looked terrified. I laughed.
"Not funny J".
"Anyway I hear you sing in the shower every morning and have it on tape too".
"Shut up J and go start your therapy". I stick my tongue out at him "Act your age J". I soon sit in the chair behind where the magic happens. I notice an iPod and iPad next to me.
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"They are to help with today. The iPod has all yours and the bands songs on it. You are to listen to them in the other room later. The iPad same thing its got Youtube up and running with any videos and live gigs even last years tour is there too" replied Phil my therapist. I shivered when he mentioned the tour last year. I hoped he didn't see.
"Right how do you feel being here then. Anything?" . I take a look around and shake my head.
"Nothing at the moment". I watch the others through the window messing with instruments.
"If you record new music here then won't that mean a new tour" Phil replied "How do you feel about that?". I dropped a cup of coffee out of my hand as he said it. He looked at me, I looked petrified. "There is our next step after today. The arena. Jordan where are you going? Get back here now". I ran out of the booth past the others. Jon stopped watching Donnie play the drums, his brown eyes followed me out of the room.
"Jordan, where are you going?"
"Outta here" I muttered "Can't be here anymore".
"But J we are here to help you".
"Don't need help, just need to get out". I ran out of the room.
"What happened?"
"I"ll go find him. I know where he is. I hope" replied Jon.
It didn't take him long to find me as I was curled up on one of sofas in the lobby. "What happened J ?"
"He was talking about I was feeling in the engineers booth then he moved onto about new music and what would come after that". He looked at me taking in what was said. "I panicked and ran".
"Tour". I nodded . "The last step is the tour bus".
"No need. I will become a frequent flyer. I will fly everywhere. I will use Donnie's private jet. We will only need two buses then. You can share with Joe".
"That will get costly won't it".
"I won't go on the bus" .
"If you have too" .
"I won't be on tour then".
"What and upset millions of fans cos you're not there".
"It was OK when you were missing TV appearances and then you left".
"That was different I was always in the background. You however are up front singing most of the leads".
"You can have them". I replied trying to avoid his stare "I am not going on the tour bus. I still get nightmares and flashbacks".
"Well by the time we do on tour again, you will be fine". I nervously laughed at him. "Come on back inside". I shrugged. I followed him back inside.
I was now standing in the room with the instruments. I feeling very anxious now luckily no one is looking at me to make it worse. They are playing with instruments. I look around the room for anything to catch my eye. Will I remember how to play as I walk over to the piano. I sit down and lightly run my fingers over keys so lightly they don't move and make a noise. Phil comes over with the iPod and wireless headphones and sits next to me.
"How do you feel now?"
"Scared".
"Why?".
"That I won't remember how to play. I love playing. I am also scared for the outcome when we do start working new material. I panicked and ran when you mentioned the tour possibility". I looked down at my hands on the keys.
"I see even the thought of it gives you anxiety". I nodded. "It will all be fine in the end. We will carry on more with mediation and mindfulness . That will all help calm you later when its does go through". I half smile back. I carry playing with the keys and suddenly I start playing something. I haven't played since before the accident.
"Hey ,he's playing the piano" replied Joe.
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"Yeah only chopsticks though and its getting annoying now" moaned Donnie as he stopped playing the drums watching me. As they watch me closely I soon start to smile as I continue to play the annoying tune. As I had the headphones on listening to some of our music and mine. The tune on the piano changed to the same thing I was listening too. I am only remembering it as I was listening to it.
"You remembering it any of it". I nod still playing.
