Back to life

Part 18 Donnie's journal

I am still reading the journals. I am remembering most of it, still going to counseling but have slowly been coming off the meds. I am starting to feel better about myself. But there is still a long road ahead. They say it can take months or even years to fully recover from a brain injury. I pick up Donnie's journal again, flicking through the pages.

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It's the start of physiotherapy for you. You have however been relearning most of daily activities that allow you to do while still in bed. Because of your leg full of metal and pins to hold the severe break you had, doesn't allow you to be very mobile.

I finally got Jon to go home, so I am here with Joe. You were slightly sitting up well as much as your body allows you too with your eyes closed when we came in. I look around your room even this one is covered with get well cards and flowers. At least it brightens the dull hospital room. We decorate with photos of us and your whole family for you to remember. Plus we put stuff out of the teams you like and from the band. We even put your keyboard in the corner. They say it's good to have the room with personal stuff and photos of people you know to help you remember. It's hard when you have post traumatic amnesia and even hard for us as you think you're a teenager and can't force making you remember who you really are. You have been in hospital for about 36 days which is about 5 weeks now I would have gone mad. But you haven't yet. You just sleep a lot. I chuckle when you wake up.

"Where's Jon?".

"Gone home finally" I replied,

"Good he was getting annoying".

"You want anything" Joe said from the corner. You shook your head. You went to reach for a cup of water and knocked it over. Water went everywhere including all over you. You were getting frustrated cos you were still weak. You have only come out of your coma about 10 days ago. It will come. You tried not to look at us as we were now showing less signs of being injured unlike you.

The physio came in later, we were allowed to stay. I sit in a chair nearby and Joe sits next to me after finding another chair for my leg. We watch you complaining throughout the session. It wasn't anything difficult just moving limbs, picking up stuff with your hands and massaging you too. When she was gone, you were in a foul mood. Joe tried to cheer you up but you weren't having any of it.

"J it will come all back. We are here to help you. Your bro will be back later. I know it's not easy and that you have lost a few memories. I am here and so is Donnie". Joe went to put his hand on your arm as a kind gesture. You blew up in his face.

"Don't touch me. I don't know you. Why are you here? I SAID DON'T TOUCH ME. GET OUT".

They did warn us that with the brain injury your personality may change. At times you are not our Jordan the kind, gentle, shy and goofball all in one. You are always angry and confused. I wonder if we lost the real Jordan as I watch Joe flee the room. I hope your brother Jon can help.... Or we have lost you forever.