Nothing Special About Me » Perrie Edwards

Chapter 31 | Little Talks

dedicated to: @directionerandmixer9 (: I updated wey hey hope you enjoy! x

Chapter 31 | Little Talks

Banging my head against the cement wall behind me one last time, I looked to my left miserably.

He knew.

He fucking knew.

And now it's going to be awkward, and different and weird around us.

This is just the best girls night we've ever had.

Not.

I got up, and did what I always did when I was frustrated; I talked out loud.

"Why do I always get the bad luck? Why?"

No one answered.

"Now our friendship is ruined, and things are going to be uncomfortable and unnatural. Why the hell did this have to happen to me?!"

I heard nothing but the wind rushing through, and some car sounds.

I continued.

"I'm just a 19 year old! I'm not supposed to be going through petty things like the guy I fancy finding out about it. People are out there going through harder times and here I am obsessing over a guy. Pathetic."

I ended up whispering the last part.

I sat down again, feeling the rush of energy leave me once more. The empty feeling I felt, it was horrible. But addicting. And I could do nothing but feel it slowly suck the life out of me, like a dementor.

"Do you always think of yourself like this?"

I felt myself stiffen at his voice.

"As if you're worth nothing?"

He continued.

"Perrie, I wish you'd open your eyes and see how everyone else sees you. How I see you."

I closed my eyes and wanted nothing more than to believe that, but it was hard. Like believeing someday I'll get my prince charming.

So I simply stayed silent and still.

After a few minutes of silence, I thought he left, when I felt myself being turned and coming face to face with none other than Zayn Malik.

He looked good. Not that right now was a good time to be thinking that, but it was true. His eyelashes made his brown eyes bigger, and his lips were full lips that I'd grown to love. His breath smelled fresh and minty, which made me inhale deeply. I closed my eyes when i did so, and opening them was a mistake.

Yet I tried to stop looking elsewhere and focused on his eyes.

I had never been good at reading eyes, so when I saw a lot of emotions pass, I felt angry at myself for being unable to read any of them.

His stare held me on spot, and the urge to kiss him right then was undeniably strong.

So I forced myself to glance at the ground instead.

I heard him sigh, and saw him shuffle closer. My breathing became a little faster.

"Perrie," he said softly, as if saying it any louder would startle me. And maybe it would.

The way he said my name indicated me to look up, and with reluctance, I did so.

His eyes were even more peircing than ever.

I tried to gulp, but I was afraid to make a sound.

"Perrie."

After saying my name, he came even closer.

And then my thoughts were only on one thing; rejection will hurt like hell.

He's probably doing this because he knows my feelings for him, isn't he?

He's just testing to make sure he has me under his spell, and then he'll laugh about it and leave me more confused than ever. He hasn't even made any signs that he likes me back, so he's probably going to break it to me in the nicest way possible, since it's Zayn we are talking about.

But he will reject me, that much is certain.

I took a big step back.

"Look, I know that you don't feel the same way, so you don't have to break it to me." I snapped.

"It's true okay? If you're here to not-so-subtly ask if what I said was true, then here's the answer: it's true."

It felt good to say that out loud, to let it off of my chest, so I didn't stop there.

"And you know what? That's okay. I really fancy you, I really like your smile and your voice and your hair. And I feel so much better admitting it than holding it back."

That was my cue to leave with a dramatic effect, but Zayn had other things in mind.

In fact, somehow, as I was trying to walk around him, he captured me in his arms, leaving me in a surprised and stiff position.

"I didn't come up here to confirm it," Zayn said, his intensity making me melt.

I tried to look stern, or at least uncaring, but I don't think it worked very well. His arms around me were making thinking a difficult task to do. It felt very much like some movie scene, but this time, without the happy ending. That thought broke my heart.

I finally found my voice to speak.

"Then why did you come up here?"

I looked up at him, and then I broke his hold on me and moved farther away from him because his stare was too profound. I needed to stop being weak and get away from him, before I was at my fragile state.

"Nevermind. I'll just be leaving now." I turned and basically sprinted to the door, but Zayn was faster, it seemed. Or maybe my intntions were always as clear as daylight.

Probably the latter. Sigh.

He stood firmly in front of me, and he seemed to be battling with himself. And then he became clearer to me. He had dark circles under his eyes, and his lips were frowing slightly, pouting. He still looked breathtaking, but almost... empty.

It seemed like he didn't have to say anything to break me, or even do anything. I would just break myself. I hadn't felt myself drop, exactly, but I knew I couldn't hold myself up after thinking that. Was I actually broken? I had never thought I as. But maybe I was. Maybe just a ittle differently, just not as noticablly as others.

Maybe I had to discover it. Nobody else would be able to do that for me. It had to be me.

I don't know how long I had been on the ground, but when i came back to reality, I noticed a few things:

- I was on the ground.

- My right arm hurt.

- Zayn's lips were less than five inches away from me.

Holy shit.

- ̗̀ a/n ̖́-

okay what did i just write :o i didn't plan to write that but this was written...

hope y'all liked it, I really wanted to get this out before school really captured my attention (I still haven't finished my homework ugh)

I was sick this whole weekend and it's monday i know (i hate mondays too) but i stayed home today bc sore throat

GUESS WHAT I GOT A LAPTOP I REPEAT I GOT A L A P T O P and it's the bomb :D