Soft Spot For Radiation ~Aarmau AU~

~A Consequential Bite~

*Play Song*

I sigh as the chilled water stings my scalp and slips down my body. And I just stand there, letting the cold water attempt to rid my body of the accumulating stress. It fails.

The shower is usually where I go to think things through. With nothing but myself and my nightly routine, it gives me to time to step back and recount the events from the past day. And by the end of the 45 minute period of wasting water, I've just about sorted through the problem, but this one was just a bit more complicated.

I finish up in the shower and fail at towel drying my hair. I exit with dripping wet hair in a short lavender nightgown. I find Aaron doing his daily workout on the bedroom floor. He appeared to be in the middle of his pushups.

His wolf ear twitches at the closing of the bathroom door. Without looking at me, he says. "That was a long shower. What's on your mind?"

If it were any other occasion, I would probably dwindle once more on the idea of how much Aaron and I have learned about each other in the past few months, but I don't. Not right now.

For a moment, I lose the ability to form words. But, all too quickly, I just say it. "Will you turn me into a werewolf?"

Aaron stiffens, abruptly stopping his workout before angling his body towards mine, sitting on the stone floor. His eyes were as wide as saucers. "What—wait." That pitch-black gaze softens."You weren't supposed to hear that conversation."

I squeeze a wet strand of hair, inching closer to him. "I spoke with Melissa."

"Melissa put this idea in your head? Oh, mother of Irene, when I see her again—" Aaron growls, but I shush him, placing my thumb to his lips. "It wasn't just her." I take in a shuddering breath. "I want to do this."

Aaron shakes his head adamantly. "Trust me, Aph. You really don't—"

"We had a baby."

That shuts him up real quick, his ears falling in unison as he notices the use of the word "had."

If you could see hearts break, then that's what I saw in Aaron's reaction. His brow furrowed and his lips parted on a sharp inhale.

"I was pregnant and then I lost it. And if you don't change me, that baby won't be the last..." As my voice cracks, Aaron pulls me down gently from my standing position to the cradle of his lap.

His tender gaze sweeps over me, his throat bobbing with emotion. "We...had a baby?"

If it was possible for my heart to break further, it just did. Even just the look in his eyes broke me beyond compare.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

I cringed. "Which part?"

He blinks. Once. Twice. "All of it, Aphmau."

"I was scared." I whisper in shameful admission. And it seems as if it were his turn to break at my words as his expression seems to wilt further.

"Of what?" He whispers back, but then a moment later, a muscle in his jaw pops. "Of who?"

"All of it, Aaron."

He lifts his hand and grazes my cheek with his fingertips. "We can keep trying, my love. We don't have to resort to that just yet."

"Aaron," His name is just a pained plead. My hands cradle his cheeks as I try to get him to understand. "We already lost one. I-I can't lose another one. I won't—"

"The pain is horrific." His eyes search mine in desperation, as if he were trying to memorize every detail. "You could die, Aph. I can't lose another as well, but I also can't lose you." His palm rests fully on my cheek, his thumb tracing my cheekbone, catching occasional tears as they fell.

I can sense his despairing sorrow, but then again, he could also sense mine. "You know what would happen if I don't produce an heir—"

"Aph." Aaron growled. "Don't."

"Don't what?" I retort. "You heard your father."

"My father is an unreasonable jackass. Don't let what he said—"

"You know this needs to be done, regardless of what we want."

Aaron stared at me for a moment before shaking his head softly, chuckling with no humor. "For the good of the vault, huh?"

Despite the harshness to his tone, I knew him well enough to see past it. He was scared. So very scared. And I couldn't help but feel guilty for bringing this upon him. But it had to be done.

Aaron's gaze drops to my nightgown-covered belly. He lets out a sharp breath, shaking his head softly.

"I know." I say quietly, resting my forehead against his. "I know you're scared—"

Again, the Ultima werewolf lets out a laugh without humor. "You think?"

My grip on him tightens. "I'm willing to take that risk. Yes, for the vault, but also for us. For me. And for our future child."

He pulls back, and any mask he once had over his expression is gone. His face is pained, his brow furrowed and his eyes glassy.

Even though I knew I had won this debate, it didn't feel like winning. Not really.

I could even feel his immeasurable worry in the way his body tensed below me, so I smiled for him. "You won't lose me, okay? I'm strong." I shrug. "I mean, I've survived sex with you."

This inspires a short-lived chuckle from him, and from me as well.

*

Teony and Lucinda had rearranged my room almost completely. Medical supplies occupy the tops of my dressers and what looked to be a crash cart was parked right next to Aaron and I's bed. Which was not exactly reassuring.

I raise my impaled arms up to Melissa, who was adjusting my IV. "Is this all really necessary?"

"We would have more prepared if we could, but there is a limited list to what you can administer during the process." Melissa says, looking over her shoulder to see Aaron enter the room.

Melissa turns back to me one last time, opening her arms wide to engulf me in a hug. Teony follows suit, leaving just me and the Ultima.

I hop under the covers, sitting up against the bed frame the best I could with the IV. Aaron makes his way over, sitting on the edge of the bed. He rests his hand on mine.

For a solid minute, we just stare at each other. I could tell he was having a mental battle with himself. Between what was the right thing to do and the thing he wanted to do.

Finally, he breaks the silence, looking away from me. "The first 24 hours is the danger zone, but after that, it's pretty much as smooth as it gets."

"Aaron...look at me," I ask softly, grasping his chin with my fingertips, gently forcing him to meet my gaze.

He sighs, eyes roving over my face. "You know, when I was just a pup, my father said...you'll just know—when you meet your mate. You'll know from her presence, from the moment you lock eyes, the millisecond you touch..."Aaron brushes my palm with his. "...he said there was no way he could describe how it feels to love someone of that proportion until you actually do." He inches closer to me, cupping my face before placing his lips in between. His kiss was gentle and soft, caring.

He releases and rests his forehead to mine. "I love you, Aphmau. God, I love you so much it hurts. It hurts because no matter what I do, I can't keep you from pain...and now, I have to be the one who hurts you."

"Shhhh Shhhh, hey, it's gonna be okay." And when he looks at me again, I see the first ever tear I've ever seen fall from his face. "I love you too." I whisper, but not like a secret. Like a promise. Like an oath. "You can do this. I believe in you."

I tilt my head to the side, exposing the bare area of my neck. I close my eyes as I felt him embrace me tightly, his warm breath tickling my cool skin.

That's the last thing I remember before every one of the nerves in my body explodes, my brain flaring with toxicity as the darkness consumed me.

Have a nice day my crystals!