💛
ethan's pov
i look down at y/n who's resting her head on my chest, her body intertwined with mine
i run my fingers through her hair, earning a light hum tumble past her lips
"i love you, ethan" she mumbles, tiredly snuggling her head deeper into my chest
i smile widely, knowing i'm the luckiest man alive "i love you too, y/n"
i listen to the sound of her quiet snores, bouncing off the walls, as her beautiful smile never leaves her lips
~
i wake up and look down, expecting to see y/n, but i don't see her
i look beside me, only to find an empty bed
i sigh and get up, rubbing my eyes, as i walk downstairs
i see y/n making pancakes and i instantly get excited
"hey e" she says, with a small smile on her lips
"hi y/n" i say, sitting at the counter, watching her make breakfast
"hey baby" she says excitedly
my head shoots up, only to be met with the image of y/n and grayson kissing
i internally groan, looking back at the counter top
i hate having those amazing dreams with her
everything felt so real
and it makes it harder to get out of bed in the morning, knowing she's not mine and will never be mine
"good morning, e" gray cheers, happily
"morning" i mumble
what makes it harder is that grayson is too freaking nice to be mad at for having the girl i've fallen for
i walk back up to my room, suddenly not having an appetite for pancakes and two people in love
i crawl under my covers and wish to wake up in a different life
a life where y/n is mine
~
"don't you say it" i warn
she smiles innocently "say what?"
"you know what"
she giggles "do i, e-tee-wee-tee?"
i can't help but smile as she bursts out laughing
"stop" i whine
she composes herself and smiles up at me
i lean down to place my lips on hers
she kisses back, wrapping her arms around my neck and tangling her hands in my hair
i wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her into me
she smiles into the kiss before pulling away, resting her forehead against mine
i smile at her as we both catch our breath
~
i open my eyes to my black room
the windows covered with curtains, blocking out the light
my black comforter, black walls, black clothes, black furniture, black everything
even a cold and lonely, black heart
i sigh, pushing to comforter off of me and looking at my clock
it reads 5pm
i slip on a black shirt with some dark washed denim jeans
i slip on my black converse and don't even bother to tame my wild black hair
i grab my phone before walking out the door
i get into my- well you know- black car, pulling out of the driveway
~
about ten or twenty drinks later-
who's counting?
at the local bar, i decide to head home
i swerve a little, here an there, but my mind's not focused on driving
it's focused on her
on her effortlessly beautiful hair that sway with her every time she walks
her sparkling eyes that light up when she gets excited over the smallest things
her gorgeous body that never needs to change, even though she always complains that it does
her mesmerizing personality that is just so-
i can't even begin to explain it
and god, her laugh
it varies from time to time, whether it's a small giggle or a loud laugh or even a snort, but all of them are unique and equally adorable
i wish i didn't have to endure this pain of longing for her
i wish the two of them never met
i wish she liked someone like me
i wish she could see how much i love her
i wish that she was mine, like i've wished a thousand times before
~
no pov
five seconds later, ethan dolan lost his life as he drove into the side of a building
his intention was unknown
although, intoxication might be a big part of it
i guess the world will never know what was going on inside his head before he crashed
but whatever it was, or whoever it was, must've been pretty distracting
💛
