🍑
i loved a boy whose name was ethan. he was considered a nerd, but he was so much more than that. he was intelligent and creative. he had the biggest heart and the warmest hugs. he was my personal teddy bear to cuddle with. he had the brightest eye, so full of wander and curiosity. he had a sharp jawline and plump lips. he had dark colored hair that was long and never tamed. i loved running my fingers through it. he was muscular and had a six pack. he was perfect in every way.
but ethan didn't think so. he hated the fact that he was nerdy. he hated how smart and different he was from everyone else. he hated his big heart and how he cried over the stupidest things. he hated the color of his eyes and didn't see the twinkle in them. he hated his hair that was always messy and all over the place. he hated how unmuscular he was, always going to the gym to workout more. he hated everything about himself in every way possible.
i loved a boy who didn't love himself.
ethan loved me with his big heart and never let me go. he was overprotective of me and jealous of the other guys that hit on me. i would always remind him that he was the only one for me.
i remember him crying one day. i asked him what happened and he said that nothing happened. i then asked him what's wrong and he said that he wished to be more like grayson. he said that he wanted to be normal. i kissed his lips and told him that i love him just the way he is. he smiled at that, but then started crying again. i asked his what was wrong again. he said that he wished to be normal for me. so that i could date a normal guy and have a normal life. i wiped away his tears and looked into his eyes. i said 'ethan grant dolan, i don't want a normal guy or a normal life. i want you. i only want you and i will always want you, no matter what' he stopped crying and looked into my eyes. he said 'i love you for saying that, but that doesn't make me stop hating myself' i felt tears brimming in my eyes and ethan asked what was wrong. i told him 'it hurts me that you hate yourself. i love you and i want you to love yourself just as much as i love you. i will teach you how to love yourself' he nods and hugs me 'i will try to learn, for you' he whispers
that was two years ago. i taught ethan to truly love himself. he stopped going to the gym as much. he stopped commenting on his appearance and learned to love it. he learned how to love his big heart and to embrace it, as it was part of who he was. he finally accepted his wild hair and the color of his eyes. he accepted how smart he was, realizing that it was what made him stand out from everyone else. he was comfortable and confident in his body. he was practically glowing because he loved himself.
i loved a boy who loved himself.
🍑
