delinquent | jeon jungkook | ✔

Chapter 35

I usually need around 15 minutes to get home. Tonight, with a nearly drunk Jungkook -and I admit it, I’m not entirely sober myself- it takes almost 45 minutes to get here. On our way home we run into several other drunk students who left the party early. God knows what they are going to do.

I struggle a bit as we finally enter my neighbourhood. Jungkook’s weight lays heavy on my shoulder and even though he’s skinny as hell, after a while walking like this, even he gets heavy. He kept insisting on walking by himself. But every time I let him go, he’d land face-first on the walkway. After the third time or so, he finally gave in and let me support him while we’re walking.

But that’s not the hardest part. He seems so lost and broken, with empty eyes. Somebody once told me that if you were drunk, your limbic system -which keeps your emotions in check- could be affected and then your emotions could become a mess. And I think that’s happening with Jungkook right now. But still, I hate seeing him like this. Every time I glance to the side and see his face as he’s looking at the walkway with dull eyes, it hurts.

Sometimes he looks up and gives me a weak smile before hanging his head low again.

And then it hurts even more.

And then we finally reach my home. All the lights are off and the car is gone. I was right about my parents not being at home. I’m sure they would let Jungkook stay here, though. IT was love at first sight when they saw him. But it will be a bit more peaceful now that they’re gone.

With a sigh, I open the front door and pull Jungkook inside before closing it again. I watch how Jungkook slumps against the wall as he lets out a long, shaky breath. Then he slowly starts to tug on his shoe laces in an attempt to get rid of them but his hands are shaking too much and he doesn’t succeed in untying the laces. He gives me a helpless look and I kneel in front of his slouched figure. I slowly begin to untie the laces and the heavy silence between us continues.

“Here,” I softly say as I take off his sneakers. I raise to my feet. Careful, so that I don’t fall over immediately. Then I extend my hand towards Jungkook to help him up. He looks up at me, his eyes still empty, before he weakly grabs my hand and I slowly pull him to his feet.

He follows me upstairs. Very slowly, to prevent himself from falling. I never let go of his hand.

“I always sleep in oversized clothes,” I muse as I turn on the light in the first floor hallway. “They should fit you as well.”

Jungkook just nods and leans against the wall, still struggling to keep his balance. Still a bit reluctant about leaving him alone -even if it’s just a minute- I enter my room and turn on the light here as well. My room is still a mess from the party preparations but I don’t have time to worry about that now. I take a huge step over a pile of clothes to reach the wardrobe and mindlessly grab a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt.

“Here,” I say as I hand him the clothes. “I’ll show you the guest room.”

Now it’s Jungkook who grabs my hand. “You’re so sweet, H-Hyunjae,” he mutters. I gently squeeze his hand before leading him to the guest room, which is at the end of the hallway.

I open the door and then I just stand there, a bit awkward. I think the confidence you get from alcohol is wearing off. “Well, if you need something,” I say with a reassuring smile “You know where my room is.”

With that, I want to walk away. But Jungkook doesn’t let go of my hand. I give him a confused look and he looks back at me with sad eyes.

“Hyunjae,” he hoarsely calls out. “I’m sorry for ruining the party.” His look is full of regret and I feel my heart aching again. I don’t think I can do this any longer. I know it has hardly been a week since… that. I know I made a promise. Blame it on my alcohol affected mind. But I can’t take it anymore.

“Jungkook, stop hiding,” I softly say, scared of his reaction. “I know it, I know what you’re going through.”

“How?” His voice cracks. Jungkook breaks. His eyes start to tear up as he looks at me and after the first tear breaks free, everything he held back for God knows how long is released. His shoulders shake violently and strangled cries escape his throat. I stare at him in disbelief and watch how the tears leave wet trails on his cheeks before he stumbles towards me and buries his face in the fabric of my hoodie, trapping me against the wall. His cries are muffled now, but not less harrowing.

I have a hard time keeping myself together as I wrap my arms around him in a tight hug. Not knowing what to do, I lightly rub his back. “You’re not alone, Jungkook,” I say, trying to sound confident. “I’m there for you and I’ll always be.”

I feel how Jungkook nods, and how he hugs me even tighter. But he doesn’t stop crying. So I do what I did before; I move my hand up and start stroking his hair.

I don’t know for how long we’re standing like that but after a while he softly nuzzles my neck and his cries become a quiet sobbing.

Jungkook takes a deep breath before he takes a small step back. “Thank you, Hyunjae,” he softly says. His eyes meet mine and to my relief, they already look more alive.

“No problem,” I reply. I give him a reassuring smile, which he weakly returns as he uses his sleeve to wipe away the last tears.

“You didn’t ruin the party, Jungkook,” I tell him in all honesty. “I had a great time with you. Don’t worry.”

Jungkook’s eyes light up a little at my comment and so does my heart. “I’m glad,” he says. One last sob escapes his throat.

“We should probably sleep,” I mutter, not knowing how to continue this heavy conversation. “It’s already late.”

Jungkook nods. “Y-Yeah, let’s go to sleep,” he agrees.

I give him a last smile. “Goodnight, Jungkook,” I say before I turn around and make my way to my room.

I hear Jungkook gasp. “Actually,” he calls out. I turn around again to face him. Uncertainty is written in his eyes. “Please stay with me, I don’t want to be alone.”

In every situation, I would’ve been embarrassed. I would’ve resembled a tomato, my heart would’ve gone wild. Hell, maybe I would’ve been offended.

But after everything that happened tonight, I just nod and walk over to Jungkook again. He needs me and I promised that I would be there for him. He enters the room and I follow him before closing the door.

Without changing into the clothes I gave him, he lets himself fall onto the bed, clearly exhausted after his little emotional rollercoaster. I sit down next to him on the edge of the mattress but before I can lay down on my own he hugs me from behind and pulls me close to him. Then he pulls the blanket over the both of us.

“Thank you, Hyunjae,” Jungkook mutters, his voice heavy with exhaustion. His hot breath tickles the back of my neck as he yawns. I don’t reply; I’m already half asleep myself. After everything that happened today, this feels so peaceful.

As I listen to his breath getting slow and steady, I can’t help but wonder.

How many of tonight will he remember when he wakes up?