Puppy dog eyes

chapter ● 26

I woke up spooning with jonah. I smiled remembering that we were okay again. I felt someone stroke my hair.
"When is it my turn to be the little spoon?! I like being cuddled too ya know!"
I laugh and turn round placing my hand on his waist.
"Shhh you're gonna wake everyone loud mouth" he laughs.
"Babe. They all went on a hike. You are such a deep sleeper no one could wake you. I've been sat here for hours waiting for my turn to be the little spoon."
I smirk.
"Oh well I'm hungry so let's go get breakfast." I go to get out of bed before he pulls me back down.

"Please babe, I haven't seen you in two weeks and I've spent yesterday thinking I would never get to cuddle you again. I just wanna be held for little bit." I realise that he isn't just joking around anymore and start to tear up.
"Roll over big guy" I smile and his face lights up. We lay there me being the big spoon for about 2 hours watching YouTube videos on jonah's phone before he rolls over.
"I feel better now. Thank you" he gives me a quick kiss before looking at me.
"Babe, you're beautiful and I wanna stare at you all day. But I'm so hungry." I laugh and grab his hand pulling him downstairs. I make him bacon and eggs before going upstairs.
"Babe I'm gonna go shower,kay?
"Mkay.  Hey you haven't eaten anything though?" I grab a slice of bacon from his plate and put it in my mouth.
"Now I have" I giggle and he looks genuinely offended.
"I was gonna eat that!" I swallow the bacon and give him a kiss on the cheek.
All of a sudden i remember the thought that wouldn't leave my head last night. I look at him wanting to ask him a question.
"Jonah?" I say quietly he doesn't hear at first.
"Jonah?" I repeat myself slightly louder.
"Huh? What's up?" He wraps his arms round me putting a fork full of egg in his mouth.
"Last night" his face goes pale.
"You said the condom was small were you just joking or was it actually?" He looks away realising what I'm thinking.
"Umm well yea it was a little bit but not a lot."
"You don't think it broke do you? I don't feel anything but I'm just scared"
He holds my hands.
"I don't think so, E. And I pulled out before.. yuno,before I. .. came. But if anything happens. It's your choice whether you want to keep it okay? As long as you're happy I'm happy. And I promise. I will not leave you to be a single mom if it does happen. I love you too much" I smile and pulled him up into a hug.  His chest is cold. It feels nice.he rubs my back.
"I love you, boo"
"I love you too jojo" he picks me up and spins me round.

"Is it bad that I kind of hope you are pregnant? Just imagine a little version of us running around causing havoc. Ooh what would we call it?!"
"Okay okay don't get too excited. We have nothing to indicate I am pregnant I'm probably not... buuuut that doesn't stop us discussing names." I smile.

"Hey, if it's a boy could we name it after my dad? Timothy. I think it would be nice because he is the reason I'm doing music in the first place."

"Of course we can baby" I smile at him.
"Timmy for short?"
"Definitely. Now you can pick for a girl." He bounces me up a little to avoid dropping me and I tighten my legs around his torso. Holding onto his neck with my arms.

"Margot-marais or just Margot. But I would love if we hyphenated your middle name into it. It's so beautiful" he smiles.
"Margot-marais. I love it!" I cup his face and kiss him.

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3 months later
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Jonah keeps making me do pregnancy tests. They all come back negative but I can tell that he wants a kid. I haven't slept with him this whole time because I don't know if he would do anything to make me pregnant. He's too eager.

"Jojo. I'm not pregnant okay? And I don't think we're ready. We are constantly moving between portland and stillwater. It wouldn't be good for a baby. I think iwanna wait till we get our own place. I'm sorry baby. We just aren't ready"

He looks at me with a sad expression but then smiles and pats his lap. I sit.

"I'm so glad I have you to keep me grounded. Do you know how many stupid impulse decisions I would make without you!" I giggle.