Puppy dog eyes

chapter ● 40

A little while later I had drifted into a rest and jonah was trying to wake me up with kisses. I woke up and kissed back.
"Babe I'm tiyad" he giggles at my childishness and pulls me into his chest.

"I love you" I look up into his steel blue eyes and smile.
"I love you too, my prince"
"Prince charming?"
"Mhmm perhaps..." I smirk and he cuddles me tight.
"It's so crazy to think that if it wasn't for sawyer I would never of met you. I knew when we got him he would change my life for the better but I didn't know he'd do it in more ways than one" jonah kissed my head before lifting up my hand examining my engagement ring.
"I love you gorgeous girl"
"I love you more beautiful boy"
"Nu-uhh"
"Yu-huh and don't even argue it because you know you're wrong. I wonder what your parents had to tell us"
"Oh umm I have an idea but I'm not 100 percent sure, I think they're telling us tomorrow" he starts to tear up but I ignore it. Probably nothing.
"Okie" I play with the stubble on his chin and giggle to my self
"What? Staahp tell me what it is!"
"Nothing" I giggle and cuddle into his chest. "You're just really bad at shaving" he shoves me off and tries not to laugh
"Leave me alone" he tickles me and I scream running into the kitchen.

I see sawyer laying on the floor whimpering, Tim next to him softly stroking his head.
"Aww sawyer bud you've grown so much!" He goes to get up and greet me but whines, almost as if he's in pain and gives up. I see a tear slip down tims cheek. Jonah looks heartbroken as he kneels down next to him.
"Hey buddy, you're okay.  Look who's here sawyer! Nono don't get up bud, stay there" jonah beckons me over and I sit. Not being able to fathom what I think Is happening. I look at jonah and he shrugs. I look at Tim who quickly breaks eye contact.

"Tim? What's going on?" I choke on my words knowing the reply won't be good.
"One second sweetheart. Carrie?! Could you get Esther and svea to come here please?" Tim chokes on his words. It hurts seeing him like this. I grab his hand tears streaming from my face, jonah pats him on the back.

Carrie comes in with Esther and svea behind her.
"We telling them tonight?"
"We have to, honey"

"Tell us what?" Svea backs away scared of the news she is about to receive. Esther let's out a long groan as if she has been expecting the words  that followed for quite some time.

"Dad?" Jonah starts to sob. Frustrated that his dad won't just tell him what he knows is coming.
"One second son" Tim turns away from us all to compose himself, takes a deep breath, and looks at each of us before beginning.

"Well um, I'm sure tha-that you have all realised that ummm sawyer hasn't b-been acting his usual self lately..." we all gasp realising that our worst thoughts were about to become reality.
Tim sees that I'm becoming hysterical and pulls me into his chest.
I sob harder as he rubs my back soothingly. Jonah gets up and kicks a bar stool, causing sawyer to jump and whine a little.
"Shit, sorry buddy." He kneels back down and strokes sawyers ear. Ruffling them like he had the day we met. I continue to sob into tims chest as he rubs my back. I can hear svea and Esther crying with carrie as jonah mumbles words softly to sawyer. 
Tim let's me go, stroking my shoulder softly.

"Sawyers stomach flipped a few nights ago. Your mom and I took him to the vet. They said if it happened anymore they might have to put him down. It happened again last night. They said he might be okay it's a 50/5o chance. But if it happens again tonight, it'll be too cruel to let him carry on living. He hasn't touched his food which heightens the risk. I-im so sorry guys"
sawyer looks around the room. I'm convinced he understands the situations. He looks over to his food bowl and then back at me. I gasp.
"You-you want your food? You want your food buddy?" I bring his bowl over and place it in front of him. Stroking his head.
"Come on boy, you can do it. Just a little bit" sawyer begins to eat the food, little by little until his bowl is half empty. We all laugh a little in disbelief and smile. He has a chance.

Sawyer lays his head on my knee and I ruffle his ears as jonah hugs him.
"Good boy sawyer. Good boy. You've got this soy. You've got this." I cry a little bit as svea comes over.

"Do you think he's doing it for us? Do you think he's trying to get better for us?!" Jonah picks her up.
"You know what. Sawyer is so heroic and the kindest soul. So yes, I do believe that he's doing it for us." They smile to each other as Tim goes and hugs Esther.
"I'm sorry Esther. I'm sure he'll be fine."
"He doesn't deserve this! He's only 7 dad he's only lived half his life!" She collapses in his arms and sobs. "It's just not fair" she cries. Eventually Esther falls asleep in tims arms and he lays her on the sofa they have in their dining room.

Sawyer had walked to his bed and fallen asleep in this time and svea was sleeping in jonah arms.
"I guess we play the waiting game now" Tim looked at me sympathetically.
"Evie,  I'm so sorry you had to come back to this."
"No honestly it's okay,  if this is it, I'm glad I got to say goodbye. It just sucks you know? He's the reason I found you guys and the reason I get to be happy... and now I might have to carry on this life that he gave me... without him" I choke on my words and jonah sets svea down next to Esther and pulls me into him.
"If this is it. He's gonna watch down on us and make sure you carry on living your best life. It'll be like you have your own little reality show, sawyer will be your number.1 fan!And he'll follow you everywhere you go. Protecting you at all costs." I break down in jonah arms as Tim and carrie rub my back. As much as I feel like a part of the family,I've never felt so included. It hurts that it's sawyers pain making me feel loved.  I look over at the beautiful retriever sleeping in his bed. The same hoodie I was wearing the day I found him held in his paws. He kept it since that day and would always carry it around in his mouth. God I love that dog. He can't go. Not yet. Not ever. I wish he was immortal. He doesn't deserve to die.

I fall asleep in jonah arms but I can only fall into a light sleep. Constantly listening out for sawyer. Tim and carrie go up to bed and jonah lies down next to sawyers bed. Me in his arms. I can hear jonah crying. I'm tempted to get up and comfort him. But I hear him talking to sawyer and decide to let him have the moment.

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Jonah pov
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I lie down next to sawyer with Evie in my arms. She's asleep so I decide to talk to sawyer. Just incase this is my only chance to say a proper goodbye.

"Sawyer bud? I love you buddy. You know you've made me so happy and even if this is the last time I see you, I know that you had a Good life. I hope you enjoyed living with us and I'm sorry we lost you that one time but then evie found you and brought you back, remember? You brought me the girl that I love! My future wife! I hope she made you as happy as she did me. And although svea would always buy you those dresses and dress you up, remember how much she loved you and how she would go to school and tell them about how cool you were. Remember that time during breakfast when you stole the sausages from dad's plate?  That was funny! And even though he made you spend the whole day in your kennel, he would laugh about it all the time. We all love you so much and you don't deserve this bud. I love you so much and if I could take your place I would, I promise I would buddy." At that I heard him whimper and look down to see him staring at me as if to ask what was going on.
" your sick buddy but, you're strong. The strongest pup I know. And you're gonna make it through this. Unless you don't want to be strong. If you just want to let go that's fine too bud. You do what you want. Just know that we love you and we'll never forget you and no dog will ever amount to you. You bring so much joy and happiness like no other. We don't deserve you. No one does." He put his paw on my hand and began to lick my fingers. I chuckled, forgetting the situation for a second. Then a wave of sadness rushed over me.
"Come on buddy get some rest. You need it" he lay his head down, looking at me one last time before closing his eyes.

"Please wake up..."