Outcasts

Chapter 18

Alex

"Because I'm not a virgin."

She let that hang in the air for a moment, and it stung far more than that slap in the face. That means my greatest fear-

"I will never love you like I love Nathan."

I stare at her in disbelief.

"I... see."

I hand her a handkerchief.

While her cleans her tear streaked face, I am reeling.

Oh my God.

When she is done she hands it back, and to my surprise there is no sign of what had just happened on her face at all. I want to ask her about it but the words are stuck in my throat. I'm still in shock and unable to move a muscle.

Then she turns away and leaves. And I swear she takes a piece of my heart with her. I'll never be whole again.

Luce

I run back into the crowded gymnasium. I look down at my arm where he had grabbed me . It is red and slightly sore. I can still taste him in my mouth. I suddenly feel the urge to spit. Then Nathan catches my eye.

I try to smile but I can't quite get it to form. I resist to urge to cry. No. Not again. I am not a child. I will not humiliate myself that way. I wipe away a traitor tear before its noticed and go to him.

I just stand with Nathan awkwardly. Neither of us really have much to say.

"The music is tasteless." I say in an attempt to make conversation.

"The others seem to like it."

"Then they are tasteless as well."

For a second I think I see a ghost of a smile. But it's gone as soon as it comes.

Alex comes over with... The other boy on his arm.  

Man-whore. 

"Luce." he acknowledges.  

I return the favour.  

"Alex." 

The other boy introduces himself. 

"Hi, I'm Seth." he smiles genuinely and offers his hand. I accept it, and when offered to him, so does Nathan.

"Loud isn't it?"

I answer with a "hmm" not really interested in conversing.

Alex doesn't say anything.

"Alex would you care to tell us how the two of you met?" I venture.

"No." he answers bluntly.

Seth seems to notice the tension between us and shifts uncomfortably.

We all just stand awkwardly in silence.

At last Nathan breaks the silence.

"It's awfully stuffy in here. Can we step out?" he asks me.

"Yeah." I answer, relieved. "Of course."

The crisp night air is refreshing. There is a small bench that Nathan seats himself on and lets his crutches lean against the side. I sit next to him.

"What was that?"

"What was what?"

"That. In there. I've never seen you act that way around each other."

"I... I don't know."