Outcasts

Part II: Chapter 5

Alex

As I storm off I nearly run over Nathan.

"Careful." he says.

I narrow my eyes.

"Really this first time you say a word to me and that's all you say?"

He tilts his head to the side a degree, his features drawing into a confused expression.

"You are upset?"

"Yes! I am very upset!"

"Why?"

Ugh! Again with the one word answers!

"Because of you! Are you blind as well as crippled? I'm in love with Lucinda and all she cares about is you! And you're always with her. Following her around like a lost puppy. You're both so bloody infuriating! Its driving me insane!"

He smiles a bit.

"This upsets you?"

Is he mocking me? My God he's making a mockery out of me!

"Well this may be a bit of a shock to you, Alexander but have you ever considered that maybe I like being with the love of my life?"

My blood boiled at those words.

"Love of your life?! Yeah right. You disgust me. How can you call that and still push her away! Everything she does is for you! And how do you repay her? By making her life a living hell! You have no idea what love is! She passes out in the street and you don't give a damn! She wakes up hoping to see you, your name on her lips and you're not there! Instead she has to settle for me! Do you know how painful it was to see her disappointed look when she realised it wasn't you?! You have no idea! Because you don't give a fuck about her, when she lives for you!"

His face darkens.

"You don't know anything! You will never understand how complicated my relationship Lucinda is! And honestly you're one to talk! At least I don't hurt her physically! I have more control over my temper than you ever will!" he ignores my startled look and continues, "You think I don't notice the bruises you give her? I could do a lot if things to make her hate you but I don't. I don't ask about the bruises. I don't say a word about you. But you don't need me to make her hate you in the end, now do you? You do it all by yourself. She does hate you, you know. I don't know what you did that night at prom but she hates you for it. So congratulations, Alexander. You have every bloody right to stand there screaming at me."

I stand stunned, unable to believe he would throw something like that in my face.

"That's... Not true! She-she doesn't hate me! No... You must be lying!" I mutter trying to convince myself.

"Do you really believe that?"

At that moment I wanted to kill him. I want to break his bloody crutches and see if they snapped like his bones. But... Lucinda. She really would hate me if I hurt him. That much I'm certain of.

I decide to be the bigger person and walk away but it turns out he beat me at that too. As I watch his crippled form struggling to walk I actually felt pity. Even that that tiny sliver of emotion couldn't be quashed by my disgust.

As I wander around the city I feel my thoughts overwhelming me. Could it be true? Could she really hate me? What does she see in him? He's nothing but a selfish liar! But he's so... Broken. His spirit is diminished. Even I can see that. He loves her. They even echo each other in the things they say. It's complicated. No fucking kidding.

Part if me worries though... Could his only reason for living be Lucinda? Can I really stand in the way of that?

No.

I can't.

He loves her and as much as I hate to admit it she loves him. I can't stand in the way of that. Even if in the end her efforts are futile. Personally I don't think the Nathan she knew is ever coming back. That man died and shrivelled up inside until he became nothing but a hollow shell. Still she tries so hard for him. Her devotion to him might very well bring about her demise.

No no. I won't let that happen. Not a chance. Even if I can't have her, I won't abandon her. Not like he did.

I will always be there when she needs me.