Wicked Games (book one)

11

song for chapter:
sex - eden
| oh no, I think I'm catching feelings |
(highly recommend + put on repeat)

jaylee's pov
sunday night 2:00am

last night I slapped myself back into reality, knowing that what I was feeling wasn't right.

ethan isn't right.

I ended up leaving the party before a single person could even have the chance of stopping me-not that they even would.

ever since then, ethan has been texting me non stop wondering where the hell I went.

he's even sent me a few snapchats to see if I open them... and I have. the reason why he keeps getting even more pissed is because I won't answer, but he knows I saw it.

Im just trying to clear my head before I do anything I'll regret, just like I almost did at the party.

I can feel him slowly getting into my head and it's clearly showing that it's working; even though I wish it wasn't.

the way he made me feel without even touching me is not normal, not for me.

I've never felt that sort of sexual tension for anyone, really. I've just never been that kind of person who feels the need to fuck someone when it's not special.

that's how I know he's getting to me and that his plan is working. I'm just like all of the other girls...just like logan.

he could have kissed me at any point this weekend, but he didn't. it's like he wanted me to make the first move so I could realize that I have feelings for him.

he would find it amusing that he doesn't have feelings for me, and knowing that he finally broke through to me. in that case, he would know I'm vulnerable and be able to use me.

he's sneaky,
and it's terrifying.

I'm not saying that my theory is one hundred percent true, because trust me, I don't want it to be.

but, hearing from everyone and seeing with my own eyes from around the school that he plays with girls, this is exactly what he does.

he's smooth and sneaky with his actions and words. he acts like he has a soft spot for you, but it's not real.

everyone says he doesn't care for people, and I believed that for the longest time.

well, until now.
I just keep having second thoughts thinking maybe he's not what people say he is, but I can't deny what's right in front of me.

I guess I just wish that he actually would or does care about me.

I know it's most likely not true, but it would be nice to be loved or even wanted by someone.

it's never happened to me, ever.
at least not in a romantic way.

I guess that's just what I treasure.

my phone vibrated for almost the tenth time in the last twenty minutes. immediately I already knew it was ethan.

since this morning he's been blowing up my phone, it's getting a little ridiculous, really.