Wicked Games (book one)

53

song for chapter:
my pockets - quavo x murda
| my bitch is badder than yours |
(highly recommend + put on repeat)

jaylee's pov
tuesday

my chest inhaled a slow deep breath as my eyes stayed pinned onto myself in the mirror—only seeing the reflection of a weak human staring back at me.

everything inside of my body felt as if it were draining out the longer that I looked at myself.

weak. so fucking weak.

my eyes fell down to my neck, looking at the smooth skin that had no bruises onto it due to the make up that I had applied to it.

but even with all of the make up, I could feel the nerves inside my neck pounding like it was a personal reminder that I don't know how to protect myself.

I swallowed the air stuck in my throat as I readjusted the turtle neck sweater that I had on; fully covering my entire neck.

my hand gently brushed through the top of my hair, letting it flow more naturally in hopes that I could look at myself and not fully be disappointed in myself.

letting my hands fall to my thighs, I let out another large breath through my nose—giving up on trying to impress myself in the least bit.

I wish that I could just tell ethan and grayson, or even osman, froy, and raven.

I just can't find it in me to reach out to them and apply more pressure than what they already have.

if I tell ethan and grayson, it will just be another thing that they have to worry about on top of their dad passing away.

and I can't tell osman, froy or raven without telling the twins as well. it just isn't right.

I know I'm pathetic for not stepping up and telling anyone, but I can deal with it until I see that ethan and grayson have been able to cope with sean's death.

i won't let myself put my problems into their hands. especially after everything they've been through.

my problems can wait.

my lips rubbed together as I finally looked away from myself in the mirror, grabbing my backpack from the counter top and wrapping it around my shoulder.

I walked towards the door of the bathroom, pushing it open with the palm of my hand as I walked out of it.

immediately the sound of people talking filled my ears as I walked down the long hallway. my eyes stayed glued to the floor as I crossed my arms, keeping my head low.

almost running into a body, two hands grabbed onto my arms in order to prevent us running into each other.

my breath hitched silently as my eyes widened, looking up to the body standing in front of me. my arms unfolded as his hands stayed gripped onto my arms.

"damn jaylee," a small chuckle left ethans mouth as both of his eyebrows were raised at me. "trying to avoid everyone?"

"sorry," I shook my head as I looked down to my feet, licking my lips before I spoke. "just trying to get through the day." my eyes looked back up to him.