Moving Forward

New Starts

"Mommy, I don't think I wanna go to school." Ava follows Brad and I into the building for new students night "Let's go home."

"That's not how it works, Ava." Brad quickly picks her up as she tries to walk away "You need to go so you can learn and make new friends."

"You'll love it here, honey." I lean over, rubbing her hair "There's going to be so much for you to do."

She looks around the hallway, trying to hide her excitement from us when she sees all the projects and decorations hanging along the walls. 

"Look baby, you can make a picture of Pinky." I point out pictures kids have made of different animals that are laying on a table.

Brad sets her on the floor and she walks over to look at all of them.  She stares at one for a while, obviously liking it more than the others.  We walk up to see why, and notice that it is a dog similar to Pinky with a bunch of little puppies laying around it.

I watch the excitement in her face as she picks out random names for each of the puppies.  She thinks very hard about each of them as if they're hers, and finally decides on what she likes.

"Let's go see your teacher." I suggest, reaching out for her hand "She's going to love you."

She seems unsure about if she really wants to walk in the classroom, but eventually does when Brad shows her that kids are drawing and making crafts.

"Hi!" The teacher greets us at the door "I'm Miss. Bell."

"Tell her your name." Brad leans down to Ava's level once she gets shy "She has to know who you are."

I give Miss. Bell a sympathetic smile as Ava finally speaks up.

"I'm Avalynn." She finally says, gripping onto Brad's leg.

"She's adorable." Miss. Bell looks from Ava to Brad and I "Here's a packet with some things for her to do, with a scavenger hunt on the front.  Feel free to as us any questions."

Brad takes the packet, holding it up so I can read it as well.  We look at the scavenger hunt and see that she's supposed to find her desk, cubby and where certain things in the room are, like the sink and bathroom.

"Do you see your name anywhere?" Brad walks around the desks with her "You have to look for Avalynn."

She quietly sounds out the letters to herself like she's been doing since we taught her how to spell out her name.

"I found it!" She points to the desk excitedly "It's in pink!"

"That's cool, honey!" I sit in the open chair next to her "Do you like your seat?  You have so many people around you to be friends with."

"I love it!" She announces happily "Can I draw now?"

We hand her the papers and she quickly grabs all the crayons she can after we make her promise to look for everything else on the scavenger hunt once she's done.

"She's getting so big." I stand with Brad, watching as she takes turns coloring and talking to the kid next to her "I can't believe she's already done with pre school and starting here already.  This is all happening too fast."

"But we're starting over soon." He wraps his arms around my waist, laying them on my slightly swollen belly "This time we'll at least have some idea what we're doing."

"Hopefully." I laugh, thinking of all the dumb mistakes we've made with Ava "And she's going to be so excited."

"Are you ready to look for the other things?" I wait for her to finish her drawing of her, Brad and I playing "You need to know where to put all your stuff on the first day."

We walk around finding everything, even where the snacks drawer is because that is very important to Ava, and then wait for the teacher to start talking.

"The teacher seems very nice," Brad leans over towards me "And none of these kids have attacked another yet.  That's a good sign."

"Yeah, but that one over there has his whole hand up his nose.  That's kinda scary."

"Or impressive."

"I'm going to hand out an 'about me' paper to each student to fill out.  Parents, please use your children's honest answers.  I'll keep these papers to give them at graduation."

"I wanna see!" Ava leans over me to 'read' everything.  Brad reads it out to her while I write everything.

"What's your full name?"

"Ava Pitt!"

"No, baby." I help "You full name. So your first, middle and last name."

"Avalynn Rachel Pitt!"

"What's your favorite color?" Brad moves on.

"Purple!" She answers excitedly "I love it."

"Okay, what do you want to be when you grow up?" He asks, bracing himself for whatever she comes up with "You can pick anything "

"A dog petter!"

"That's what you want to be when you grow up?" I ask to clarify "Are you sure?"

She just glares over at us, telling us she WON'T be changing her mind.

"Moving on..." Brad looks for the next question "Favorite animal?"

"Dogs."

"What are you most excited for at school?"

She thinks long and hard about this, going back to how everything was last year.

"I think lunch time."

I write it down while trying not to laugh and upset her. 

"Can I go play now?" She gets up once we're done, looking towards the other kids and toys "Please?"

"Go ahead, make some friends."

Watching her talk and play and share with all these kids reminds me of how fast she's growing up, and how badly I want to freeze time forever.  I don't want a talking back teenager, or college student.  I want my baby to stay my baby.

Brad, knowing how I feel, wraps his arms around me, reminding me that he feels the same.

"I hope she's still excited for her first day, she's so off and on about it."

"I know," I sigh, just thinking about how painful it'll be to watch her leave "Is it bad that I almost want her to cry?  Just as a reminder that she's going to be thinking about us?"

"A little, but I kinda want it too."

We get in the car a few minutes later, asking Ava what she thinks about everything.

"I can't wait to go!"