Moving Forward

Not so Glamorous

"Babe they're going to be here any minute for the interview."

I run down the steps, pulling my dress on, only to see that there are still unfolded wash baskets in the living room.

"Seriously, I asked you to at least throw them back in the laundry room for now."

"Relax, I'm working on it.  I got a little distracted by someone reaching the glitter on the table and dumping it."

He hands me Addie, who is completely covered in glitter, and walks over to move the baskets.

"I say we keep her looking like that.  It's very good birth control."

Seeing as we can't leave the other 3 alone and don't have time to clean her, I agree with him.  Part of this interview is to show the normalcy of parenthood anyway.

The doorbell rings seconds later, and Ava rushes up to answer it before I can stop her.

"Mommy!  The question lady is here!"

I quickly walk out to greet her, welcoming her inside since Ava opened the door and decided to run away.

"Sorry," I hold the door open for her and the cameraman "Come in, the living room is right around the corner."

They wave at the kids as they walk by and get situated in the living room.  Brad walks in shortly after, handing everyone some drinks.

"This is a lovely home.  I love all the little personal touches.  They make it cozy."

The interviewer gets her equipment ready, gazing around the room at all the work we've put into it over the years.

"You've been open about your love for renovating houses, but how are you with small crafts and decor?"

"Jen normally has the better eye for that, but we both love the hands on part." Brad says, looking at a few of our little projects "We love having the kids involved now too, it's amazing how something so little can change a whole room."

"You recently welcomed twins, and everything that comes along with them, was that a big adjustment for you compared to having one baby?"

I think about it for a little, knowing it was an adjustment, but also knowing that we were ready.

"It was a huge adjustment, but it kinda just happened.  I don't think we had anytime to think about how different things were.  I love that they're getting older now and we can do more as a family.  Twins to me is just like 2 toddlers, so not much more difficult than it was before."

"Do you ever feel like the work is never ending? Parenting, working and owning a business?"

"All the time!" I quickly answer as Brad agrees with me.

"Right before you got here, the house was in piles.  Laundry, dishes, toys.  We try our best, and even with occasional help, it's not perfect, but we love it."

"We've had so many stressful days where we couldn't wait for a break, but in the end it's all worth it.  And it goes by way too fast.  It feels like just yesterday we were bringing Ava home and now we have 4.  It's hard to believe sometimes."

"Do you include the kids in household things?  It's amazing how eager they are to help sometimes."

"We've included them in little things since they first started showing interest.  I think it's important for them to know how to help out, and it's a huge help for us."

"Ava has always liked cleaning, too." Brad adds, thinking back to when she was little "Even as a baby if she was crawling around and saw something she would try her best to move it to the side.  We're pretty lenient about their toys and letting them be messy, but all four of them pitch in to make sure we can at least walk."

"How has your relationship changed?  It's a huge jump to go from married to married with multiple young children."

"It's changed dramatically from the second she peed on the stick and we found out about Ava.  We always knew that we wanted kids eventually, so we would try to prepare ourselves, but nothing fully prepares your relationship for the first few weeks when you're living off coffee and 20 minutes of sleep.  It gets harder as you add to it too, and we've had a few long stretches where it seemed like we couldn't stand each other, but we know our future is well worth all the struggles and pain."

"There are many days that I don't like him much at all, but I always love him.  We've fought like hell at times, and it isn't always pretty, but there's nobody else out there that I would rather be raising my children with."

"Many parents say they struggle finding time to go out and reconnect.  Do you ever struggle with that?"

"Yes and no.  It really depends on what our schedule is like.  We have always said that we put our relationship first because without us, we wouldn't have the kids, and in the end we're going to be together when they leave.  We obviously spend as much time as possible with the kids, but we don't feel back sneaking away while they're watching a movie for a few minutes, or taking time to get ourselves lunch when we're both working."

"We still have our days where we feel like they take up our whole lives, but we love them more than anything and sometimes we need to make that sacrifice.  We love spending time and playing with them, but we also love our time together."

"You've said before that your life is chaotic and stressful, but how do you manage it all?  Does parent guilt ever impact it?"

"All the time!"  I laugh slightly just thinking of all the times I've felt like I wasn't doing enough "I see moms out there looking like super mom, and it gets to me, but then I hear other people tell me they think of me as one, and it hits me that we can all look like we have it together and be falling apart at the same time.  Just like today, we swore we would have the whole house cleaned up before you got here, but an hour ago he was shoving laundry baskets in closets while I was taking a speed shower because I spent the morning scrubbing dried up food off the floors.  There's been way too many times to count where we forgot about soccar practice or dance, or sent Ava to school with Kassie's lunch.  It happens, and we feel terrible about it, but we have to remind ourselves that we're only human.  We're allowed to mess up sometimes."

"I always say, as long as the kids are happy and healthy, my job is done."

"Exactly." Brad looks over at the kids laughing and playing "And we're doing a pretty good job."