Gray X Reader (The Puppet Maker)

Hear me out (Not a real chapter)

(If you are not interested to hear anything about what happened then you should skip this and ignore it. It's okay if you ignored it, I just wanted to throw everything out from writing.)

As I thought, people do have monster inside them. As for me, I also believe I do have one too after all I'm still a human being living in this cruel world.

People tend to lie but I discovered someone who's life is been a lie. For me, he appeared right in front of me like he's a drenched animal who's weak and fragile. I won't deny this but I fell to his traps.

Some complicated things happened and I somehow got full of myself and throw him away like he was nothing. I'm a cruel person in reality, so much that most of the people I knew hated me because of that. I didn't care less to their worries about me because I only relied to myself right from the start. That's the me before but I had changed.

For all the problems I faced (beside my family problems), this is a difficult one for me because other people from the outside are affected to this. So let's say I gave him a chance again and thought of him as a friend but he betrayed me. I was in raged at that time and he even talked to my friends about suicide. Hey! I'm the victim here, you're the reason why I got to this so why would you resort everything by killing yourself! I'm pretty pissed at that time.

But that's when I realized everything. Every doing of his, I thought he was just a baby bird who just needs to learn how to fly but instead he was just using me to do his desires. I got angry and thought some bad things. I wanted to kill him. I can even helped him suicide, that's not a problem if it just means for him to disappear then i'll go help him. I'm sorry if this becomes controversial but I can't just holed this feelings up inside my heart. I somehow need to let this out. 

All I could think that time is for him to disappear in this world. What if I'll kill him? Then hes' been freed from his lies right? I got crazy and even as I sleep it bothers me. This is not like the first time that someone betrayed me but it's different because he's a guy and I didn't confront him like what I did when I was young.

When I calmed down, I finally realized what I had said and done. I was too cruel to begin and started begging for apologies to myself knowing how bad my mouth is. I know it's his fault I became like this but I'm at fault too for thinking of him to die. 

I have been experiencing troubles since I started high school. Writing this is like walking to a narrowed place, my heart is heavy right now. I don't want to concern anything about him anymore and if possible I don't want to make this problem big as it was before. I accepted every insults they threw at me and cried everything all alone but right now I can't keep silent anymore that's why I'm sharing this.

If you read this from the very end, I hope some of your problems has been resolved not by force but by your own resolution. I've been thinking of this for a while and I know that not all problems are solved only by talking but some of them are by brute force. But still think of other ways, It's not like those are the only options. I'm just happy to the part that, I'm not seeking for love or else, I became one of his victim. It's so gross to think he only wants me to be my friend because of my virginity.

I also wanted to tell this to my friends how narrow minded they are. Maybe I do things on impulse because of my overflowing of emotions but once I calmed down, I know all of my mistakes. I've been strong for how many years and writing helped me a lot. I wanted to live because I still had a dream. Knowing that you existed is my strength right now. It inspired me to write more.  My throat hurts right now just writing this. 

Thanks for reading this and concerning yourself to my troubles. I know this is not that big but, I'm happy you became my reader and discovered my story. This wouldn't be in this place if it's not because of you. I'm thankful and happy, really. Also thank you for supporting me. You can just skip this but you still read this. I'm really thankful.

And about the next chapter, the story will be cut by a one shot just to remove you from all of the pain you had struggled in the last chapters. So it's still not connected to the story but still, I'll write a one shot. But expect that after the one shot story, it will be the revelation of your past. I hope you'll like it. (I'll try writing tomorrow but it seems like I'll be facing my laptop and watch anime the whole day again). Let's be together until the end guys, I love you so much.

~HatSuKumi