Bonds Broken ~Dean Winchester Love Story~

Everybody Loves A Clown -- Don't Break

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Serenity. Peace. A world without war. That's what it felt like. The sun showed down over the calm plains, and warmed my body to the core. I let out a soft breath, and slumped down to my knees. Tears continued to pour as everything around me remained silent. The subtle rustle of the trees being pulled to and fro by the dancing winds; it was peaceful. It was... too good to be true. I got to my feet and took a step forwards. "Where am I?" I questioned aloud. I didn't think I'd hear an answer, but I did. And it set every instinct as a hunter on fire.

"You would call it a 'Happy Place'." A masculine voice rang out behind me. I whirled around, ready to take out whoever spoke. A man stood before me, with familiar apple green eyes, and ebony black hair. He smirked, and I'm suddenly shunted into a memory. One of many where Dean holds those very smirks.

"Who- Who the hell are you?" I snapped.

"I'm what would've been; had I survived. Actually, I just lied. I'm a cognition of your mind. So, yes, I am what you imagined the child that grew inside of you. I'm what would have been in a sense."

"That's- That's not possible." I muttered. "How are you- I mean; how am I seeing this?"

"You're still with Sam. Time here; doesn't apply to the world you live in. In your reality, only two seconds have passed since we've been speaking." The man smiled gently.

I remained silent for a moment. "How do I get back?"

"Just close your eyes, and I can send you back."

"But- aren't you just a cognition?"

"That doesn't mean I can't bring you back to reality. I'm in your mind after all. I can do whatever you can." With a snap of his fingers, my vision is back to the hospital room. The room was empty by now, and I just sat on the floor, staring blankly at the space before me.

"Lottie?" Sam's soft voice drifted through my ear. I looked up quickly and stared at him. He held a somber expression before he held his hand out to me. I grasped it slowly and followed him out. I looked back at the room and sighed out.

~******~

The dim embers drifted upwards into the dark sky as we stood in the woods. The pyre burned slowly, consuming the body of John Winchester. The man who had taken me in, and taught me to hunt. Taught me to live. I gazed in into the inferno, tears drifting down my pale cheeks as I tried to cope with the feeling of lose. Dean stood besides me, his arm securely tucked around my shoulders. He held an emotionless mask over his face. The only way anyone could see his pain, is if they stared into those glassy eyes.

It didn't take long for me to figure out what John had done. Dean's miraculous recovery; John suddenly collapsing; those summoning ingredients. I knew I should've at least said something to him. I should've just told him. But the pain he held on his shoulders. I couldn't add to it.

"Before he.... before- did he say anything to you? About anything?" Sam asked, breaking the silence. I stared up at Sam's broken expression.

Dean was silent for a moment. "No. Nothing." Dean whispered back. He didn't tear his gaze from the fire as I buried myself into his chest. Tears continued to ooze from my pained, and tired eyes as I beared the pain for him. As the fire died down, we sat in silence in the blistering cold. My heart ached, and I found myself thinking of only one thing.

'It hurts more than the first time....'

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