irondad & spiderson oneshots

i. the floor is lava✓

a/n: since im entirely rewriting this thing im making peter a stark bc y not

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When Peter was first introduced to the Avengers (minus Natasha), he didn't quite understand yet what his father had gotten them into. At eleven years old, Peter Stark was enamored with the superheroes.

He hadn't yet figured out that while they were some of the most important people in the world, the most dangerous, the most illustrious, they were also just very, very dumb.

And he didn't mean in an intelligence way, he meant in a 'present them with a timed anything and they'd lose all sense of logic' way. So while Peter knew that his dad snored like a lawnmower at night, and he knew about the Captain America themed pajama pants Natasha wore, knew the countless other small, humanizing facts about the Avengers, he also knew the one thing that was indefinitely and irrevocably their downfall.

Years of these people (and Gods and androids) living in his home, and Peter knew just how to stir up chaos in a previously perfectly calm atmosphere. So, bored out of his mind and lacking anything fun to do, when Peter arrives back home from school, a smirk slides onto his face as he stands in the elevator.

A few moments of planning later, and the doors ping as they open, the spider child skipping out into the common room. "Hey, guys," he calls out casually, smiling when they all hum various greetings at him.

And then, eying Natasha's book balanced on her knee, the cup of tea Wanda had in one hand, the tablet in Bruce's, he resigned himself for an hour of cleaning up after this was done.

"Hey, bud," Tony said from the couch, offering a two finger salute and a small grin.

Peter's smirk widened, and he spotted the moment his dad realized what he was about to do. "Guys?" Peter repeats himself, making sure they're all looking up at him. "The floor is lava."

There's a split-second of silence before all hell breaks loose. Peter hops up to hang from the ceiling by his fingertips, and he watches everything unfold. Natasha tosses her book onto the coffee table, doing a dramatic flip onto it while keeping her face blank.

Red glows around Wanda as she levitates into the air, and Vision simply shrugs before jumping into her arms. Clint panics for a brief second, but he quickly jumps into the open vent above him, his legs dangling hilariously in front of them. Sam and Bucky engage in a brawl as they fight for dominance on top of the kitchenette, and Tony.

Tony, he thinks, is the funniest of them all, because after he realized what his son was going to do, he'd sighed heavily and resigned himself to his fate. "Peace," the billionaire said, before throwing himself out the window. He returned a few seconds later with the Iron Man armor enveloping him, and Bruce wasted no time in jumping into his arms.

And Peter, in the wake of it all, cackles. With the weight of Earth's mightiest heroes glaring full force at him, he only laughs harder, and falls off the ceiling for his troubles.

So worth it.

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a/n: rewritten with like,, grammar. and pizazz.